I am surrounded by a white healing light. I am wrapped in the loving energy of the universe. Every cell of my body vibrates with diamond white light. I am radiant , luminous and bright. I feel healthy , strong and vibrant. I trust that I am always p...
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A lot has happened since I've last updated this and school is stressing me more and more. I've been growing more depressed , anxious and more selfish. A lot of bad and good have happened in my life and I wanted to write some poems to better explain my feelings rather then go into detail about everything. A form of shadow work if you will. Enjoy 🌙
Poem 1 - I need to look in the mirror
I need to look in the mirror. What do I see ? I see a girl , broken and battered and in need of self healing. Its been a few days. I need to look in the mirror. What do I see ? I feel better , more comfortable in my skin. I feel so happy and warm inside. I won't ever let this feeling go. Its been a few weeks. I need to look in the mirror. I feel...different ? I don't know if its good or bad. People have been pointing out these changes. Should I embrace the insults or ignore to the compliments to humble myself ? Its been a few months. I need to look in the mirror More , more , please I'm begging you , please don't go ! I'm doing everything right , I'm starting to put myself first ! Isn't that what I'm supposed to do ? Not let anyone walk over me ? I don't understand ! Please , I don't want to be broken again !
. . . I need to look in the mirror. I feel so tired , upset , anxious , nothing has changed , only the illusion has grown bigger. I'm not perfect , no matter how hard I lie to myself. My friends are leaving me , saying I'm manipulative and abusive. Like father like daughter... . . . I need to truly look at my reflection.
Poem 2 Endless chain
I hate him ! He left my mama with nothing ! But I can't loose who I am... Why not just pretend to enjoy his company ? He'll slowly feel how it feels to be alone and unloved Maybe...Maybe I will...
I hate them ! They have no love or sympathy or people less fortunate then them ! Why not ignore them ? If you avoid them , they won't bother you or make fun of you Maybe...Maybe I will...
I hate this ! I hate how I can't be around my friends ! Why not lead them astray ? They'll understand and it won't hurt you. That way everyone will always give you attention Maybe...Maybe I will...
Wait...
What's happening ?
Why am I crying ?
This...isn't supposed to happen ! I wanted a normal family , friends , classmates to talk the day away with ! Why am I so afraid?! No , no , no , no , no !
NO I'M NOT ! I'M NOT LIKE THAT ! I'M GOOD ! PLEASE I'M GOOD !
I'M NOT LIKE HIM ! I'M NOT LIKE MY DAD !
. . . You have forgotten who you are. Why you were doing what your doing. You aren't like the people who hurt for fun ? Like the people who use good innocent people for their benefit ?
Break the chain.
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