I am surrounded by a white healing light. I am wrapped in the loving energy of the universe. Every cell of my body vibrates with diamond white light. I am radiant , luminous and bright. I feel healthy , strong and vibrant. I trust that I am always p...
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It sounds silly to make a post about this but considering the last post talked about how important the 5th of February is to me spiritually its shouldn't come as a surprise. I thought writing down my last thoughts as my 15 year old self would be beneficial to me from the past few years and the ones in the future so here it is. To my past and future selves , this is my letter to you :
I dreamed of being 16 for as long as I could remember. I couldn't explain how or why but I just imagined a perfect birthday and a perfect year. Granted I would've liked it to have been in 2022 since I had a strong admiration for double numbers such as 11 , 22 , 33 , so forth but I will settle for 23. It makes the perfectionist in me a tad irritated but I can deal with it.
Similar to life , it isn't perfect. I didn't expect all the fucked up shit in my life to go down but I didn't expect all the good that came with it either. I made so many good friends and lost many as well. I learned to observe the people I'm closet to in my life and even did what I thought was the impossible. I started a journey with my dad to bettering and healing our broken relationship. I won't go into detail but to say my feelings on him are complicated would be a understatement. I don't entirely forgive him for all that he's done when he started out as a father and it won't be excused either. I just understand and rationalized why he did the things he did. It was out of love but like any parent it had its messy consequences.
But I digress. THIS IS A DAY ABOUT ME GOD DAMN IT ! NOT MY TRAUMA >:[
I spent the entire day dedicating it to making me happy. I watched videos from my childhood youtube playlist and some of my favorite youtubers while eating Lucky Charms marshmallows and chips. I did some art here and there but mostly I was in my own head. Its not out of the ordinary to do this but when you have so many distractions going around you can't help but be at peace when you can finally stop and just think to yourself for a few hours.
I thought a lot about the meaning of my life , the meaning of being 16 and all that sappy jazz. I just want to wrap this up by saying thank you for being with me throughout my entire life. You guys are honestly like family to me. When I was a little girl , you guys were my friends and comfort when the world felt like it was against me. I have no clue if this year will be as perfect as I hope it to be but regardless of whatever , I promise you that this new version of me will continue to work on self betterment and have a even stronger determination to be a famous mangaka or animator.
