Cheaper Than Free: An Anniversary Story (The Dance A/U Sequel)

Brighter Than A Smile

Pacific Palisades, California
Sunday, November 27, 2022
(8:30 pm)
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"I still belooooooong...don't get me wrooooong...well you can speak your mind, but not on my time! I don't care what you say anymore; this is my life! Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone..."

It was Stevie's upcoming concert dates in the new year with Billy Joel that had spawned the singalong to the his greatest hits album. They had sung "Big Shot" and "Honesty" already, Stevie, Lindsey, Amber and Jane leading the chorus of people who had gathered around the coffee table after dinner, joined by Christine, Lori and Lindsey's brother Jeff, waving drinks in hands, a joint being passed from Jeff to Lindsey to Stevie and back, smiles and laughter as abundant throughout the entire first floor of the house as the food and drink and music.

This is the dream, Stevie thought as she looked around the living room at her beautiful family, the one she and Lindsey had created throughout fifty years of love and fighting and music and breakups and reunions and money and sex and drugs and everything else life had to offer them. This is exactly how we planned it fifty years ago, when we were splitting a cheeseburger for dinner after I came home from cleaning Keith Olsen's house and settled into our mattress on the floor to talk about the future.

"My vote is for 'Piano Man' next!" she heard Jane cry out past the singing. She was seated next to Amber and they both had strange conspiratorial looks on their faces. She watched as Jane took a generous sip of her wine, looking at Amber now almost sympathetically. Something was up. Lindsey got up to change the song at the stereo, and Jane turned to her mother-in-law and said, "Hey Stevie, how did the whole Billy Joel thing come up? You've never toured with him before, have you?"

"No, which is exactly why I want to do it," Stevie explained. "I got to thinking of what fun it was to tour with Rod Stewart about ten years ago, and of course I've told you till we were both blue in the face my stories of touring with Tom..." Wistfully, she looked down at her lap. It had been five years, but she still missed Tom Petty something awful.

The familiar sound of the harmonica intro to "Piano Man" filled the room to rousing cheers from everyone at the party. Jane said, "I know. By the way, I never told you...I loved your 'Free Fallin' over this last tour. It was a perfect tribute."

"Actually I've been covering it for years on tour but...since he's been gone...I don't know...it's more meaningful." Stevie looked slightly sheepish as she said, "I don't know if you saw any footage of the Hollywood Bowl. I very nearly cried during it."

Jane had seen the footage. Sitting beside her in bed with her iPad on her lap to Google first-trimester pregnancy symptoms, Amber had found the footage on YouTube and shown it to her, saying, "That's the thing about my mother - she really FEELS things. Like, if she loves you, watch out...because she'll love you with all her might for the rest of her life. I mean, Jesus Christ, it's been like forty years and she STILL carries on about Joe Walsh!"

"Well, it was awesome anyway, Stevie," said Jane.

"And the waitress is practicing politics as a businessman slowly gets stoned...yes they're sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it's better than drinking alone..."

The singalong was underway again, but in the middle of everyone singing "Sing us a song, you're the piano man," Stevie watched as Lindsey looked at Amber and motioned with his head, and the two of them slinked off together to a corner of the party by the fireplace on the other side of the living room. Now she was suspicious.

He never lets one of these occasions go by without some grand romantic gesture or surprise, she thought as the lyrics of "Piano Man" were being shouted all around her by everyone she loved all crowded into one room. He has something up his sleeve...should I grill Amber? No...let them have their fun. I'll work on Jane.

"And the piano sounds like a carnival, and the microphone smells like a beer...and they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar and say, 'Man, what're you doing here?'..."

Stevie rose from her seat next to her brother-in-law Jeff and sat down on the opposite sofa next to Jane, who was cheerfully singing along with the crowd and waving her glass of Merlot high in the air. Jane noticed her mother-in-law's presence and took her hand in her free one and held it up high, swaying along to the music and finishing out the song, Stevie joining back in with a shrug.

"Sing us a song; you're the piano man...sing us a song tonight...Well we're out in the mood for a melody, and you've got us feelin' alright..."

Stevie joined in the cheering and clapping as the harmonica sounded the conclusion of the well-known, well-loved song she remembered being all over the radio the same year the Buckingham Nicks album flopped and she went back to work as a waitress so she and Lindsey and the dog wouldn't starve to death trying to make it. She leaned in and whispered into her daughter-in-law's ear, "So what can you tell me about the big secret?"

Jane, a little taken aback, swallowed her wine roughly and looked a bit wild-eyed at Stevie. "What do you mean?"

"Amber," Stevie said, pointing to where Amber and Lindsey were speaking in hushed tones by the fireplace. Lindsey held a Heineken, Amber a bottle of Fiji water. It suddenly occurred to Stevie that her daughter had been declining alcohol and various joints and vaping pens all night, opting for water and iced tea. "She and Lindsey are in cahoots over there...and I think I've got it figured out." She knew Lindsey had a grand romantic gesture planned, but what was it?

"You do?" Jane swallowed nervously again. "We've been trying to keep it in all night, and I told Amber she'd give it away without realizing it, the way she's been carrying herself and not drinking and all..." Jane let out a defeated sigh. "So I guess you know about the baby..."

"Baby?" Stevie's entire face widened in shock, and so lost in shock was she that she couldn't register the look of horror on Jane's face when she realized she'd spoiled the wrong surprise.

"Stevie, listen, I..." Jane began fumbling for the right words and never found them. It was Stevie who took her hand and looked at her with the hint of a growing smile.

"Jane...level with me," Stevie said. "What's going on?"

"Stevie, hold onto your tambourine," said Jane with a giddy smile. "You're going to be a grandmother!"

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