Keep them together

Happy Birthday!!! [1]

TW for whats ahead. Suicide, mentions of Ed, and Clinical depression symptoms (ed is in later chaters, however, I feel it's important to note now. These scenes are not marked, seeing as the majority of this fanfiction revolves around these things, if you do not feel comfortable with that this isnt the fic for you. /nbr also i cant delte this bullet point send help

Donnie's Pov

My feet brushed the cool concrete, this is it, just get on with it, Donnie you have to do this. Just get it over with, don't look back don't stop just go.

Don't look at the wall; just keep going to the desk, Donnie; don't think about this. pick up the pen Donnie you have to give them a reason. You have to make sure they know why. It wasn't their fault, it isn't his fault. Just write what you practiced Donnie, you've rehearsed this. He's gone Donnie you know this. You have to hurry Donnie Leo will be home soon, he's the one that has to find you Donnie. It cant be Mikey, please don't be Mikey.

he's the strong one, but he'll break if he see's you doing it, it has to be irreverisble. I ask whatever god may be out there that Angelo won't find me, please, please, Leo find me first. Hurry up Donnie, for once in your life grammar doesn't matter. I'm driven, c'mon everyone says you're most driven so just do this, please just do it.

Everything

All I know is gone

Everything I've built for us, this life I started for us is destroyed.

Everything I've grown to love, every material relationship I've made since I was a child is destroyed.

My child is destroyed. He's dead. I'm not supposed to be attached. I was never meant to get attached. I don't understand what it is inside me

That is making me feel this way, I feel empty nothing makes sense, I'm the science brother, I'm the smart one, but I don't know why I feel like this, I

Hypothosieis that I will never feel the same after that.

I'm really doing this. I'm really killing myself over a robot. This isn't rational stop now.

No, stop, he was your son, your life has no meaning. Yes it does Donnie. You can rebuild him, you can start anew.

No, stop, stop, he won't be the same, you can't replace him, he is your baby. No he WAS your baby. HURRY UP DONNIE.

Do it now Donnie. Donnie everything is set up, you've been planning this since it happened Donnie it's been two years I need to do it now.

I don't want my eyes to sting anymore, I don't have the patience to lie anymore, I'm not okay. Leo, please tell them I wasn't okay please tell them this isn't a fit of passion, or boredom seeping in. I'm not okay anymore, I think I never was.

Put the pen down Donnie you're writing too much the ink is smearing the page is soaking. It's fine Donnie, I record everything.

Okay, it's happening. I'm doing it. Don't look up, don't look at that picture. Okay you're standing up, I'm standing up.

Easy part, get on top of the desk, put, okay yeah, like that slip it around your neck, make sure it's tight. Oh my god, do I actually want to do this?

I'm in position, no going back, get it over with. Go now do it he'll be home soon just.

I'm slipping, let go. He screws his eyes tight and steps off the desk.

Panic starts to set in. I'm not supposed to be alive, I'm not supposed to be suffocating, my spinal cord was supposed to snap.

No, no, no, please I don't like this. This was supposed to be easy.

out of panic he grasps the rope around his neck looking up to push it off.