Finding Louis {l.s}

18

The boys and the girls are in/I mess around with him/And I'm okay with it~

For what it's worth, this might be my last Larry book. Not that I don't have the starts of a couple more in my library. I'm just not in the fandom, anymore. I am happy though that Harry seems to be much more free with whoever he is. I mean, I don't know the guy but bro... Slay 🤩 he gives off a certain energy in this vid that makes me feel happy for him and ngl as someone who's also some flavour of queer, it's kinda nice knowing there's people out there who let themselves explore with whatever.

I keep this side of me semi-secret but I do try things out expressing myself at times. I shaved my head recently. Well, my brother did. It felt so... Freeing. I can't explain it. Woman, man, who cares, I just wanted a bald head. Maybe neither. Maybe all. I don't... It doesn't have to matter. I can just be a human. It can just be okay.

K bai!!

Lou:

Harry makes me breakfast. It's been a couple of days since he let me in and I haven't left since. He's determined to give me as much as I can handle eating, knowing fully well I didn't bother taking care of myself when I was away. We found the silly kissing contract last night and amended our agreement so I have to pay him in a million kisses, too. It's working perfectly well. I smile when he kisses my cheek, taking in a deep inhale as the safe warm fuzzy feeling crumbles inside my mind, replaced quite suddenly with anxiety.

"I think... It's time to see Simon, now. He umm... He needs to leave. I want to feel completely safe again. I want to know you're safe, too. Could you... Ask the boys when they're available? Maybe an entourage will scare him away..."

"Of course, love. They'll be over as quick as they're able. He hasn't sent you anything recently, has he?" I gently shake my head. It's nothing he doesn't know about. We read the texts together these days. It's easier and less frightening to do it when I'm not alone. I hope this won't go too badly. Worst scenario will involve the police which could just end with him twisting them into believing he's the victim.

I'm just not sure what could make Simon leave. He might not agree but we have to try. If this doesn't work, I'll have no choice but to get cops involved. Perhaps be forced to tell my story. I try not to think about it.

With the guys all here, we plot a game plan. It's simple. We'll try to reason with him, otherwise, it'll have to be the law enforcement plan. No violence because I don't want anyone doing something he can charge them for. Once we're set, we get into Liam's car and are on the move.

It's almost amusing to think Simon has been waiting for me at this cute little bed-and-breakfast just outside of town this whole time. It's the best there can be since most people only come by this town if they have relatives to visit and stay with. I hope his inflated ego hated every second.

As we head for his room number, I hold tightly to Harry's hand. The rest crowd around me, Niall giving me a reassuring nod. They all look so serious. I feel guilt for putting them in harm's way, yet so utterly relieved I don't have to face him alone anymore. It took me too long to realise the only thing that was keeping me with him was fear rather than love. Once it came through to my shattered psyche, it wasn't long before I was waiting for the tiniest slip-up from him, plotting my escape. It seemed sudden to me, then, but I can't deny now that I'd been subconsciously hoping for a way out. It just took a little while to get myself to walk away from something so horridly familiar.

They press to the wall as I knock. Simon smirks when he sees me and I relive too many bad days all at once, shaking silently. I can't even speak and I just know that makes him feel even prouder - the sick fuck.