Lost And Found

58

27. I was panting too much, i calm down but i still can't accept it... Buhat ko si Tenth while he was crying so much, buhat naman ni Young ang dalawang anak habang lumuluha ito.. He was crying silently while his three other kids is crying hardly, siniksik ni Tenth ang kaniyang ulo sa leeg ko, I was crying and crying.. How to escape this pain?

I was holding a white flower while we are all walking, papunta sa likod ng paaralan, Tumigil kami sa malaking tubig ilong-kanal, malakas ang agos ng tubig, malinis, Unti-unti naming binitawan ang mga bulaklak bago iyon agusin ng tubig

Napa pikit ako ng mariin, binaba ko si Tenth na umiiyak before hugging Youn tightly, yinakap ko ang kaniayng kahon and just imagine himself.. That he is this box. That my Youn, is in my arms again.

"Mahal na mahal ka nang Mama..." i said

Sa bulaklak na pina agos namin, ay sumi simbolo iyon para sa kalayaan niya. Sa kalayaan ng anak ko rito.. Sa kalayaan niya sa trahedyang ito.

Napa luhod ako muli before crying again.. Never ending tears on my eyes

Young is silence for the whole time

Lalo pa nung nilagay na namin ang kahon ng anak ko.. Sa lugar kung saan ito mananatili, kung saan doon siya mananatili.. Kung saan doon siya namin iiwan.

A cementary

I cried and cried again, ang bigat-bigat sa dibdib

I look above.. As we let the ballon go... Tinaas ko ang aking pinakawalan na lobo... In that ballon... He fly freely.. Just like my son... He was now flying freely.

I still reached for the ballon i let go even it's too far.. Malayo.. Napaka layo.. Hindi ko na kayang abutin pa.

I cried and cried.. I tried and tried to get over in this pain but i couldn't

There is particular pain that you can't accept and unable to heal only by yourself

That pain that you want to let go..

But how could you let it go.. If you can't accept that particular pain...

The hardest part to decide in our life Is to move on or to stay in that unacceptable pain.. And the painful moments in our life.. Is losing someone we love the most.

"You will not going to have them anymore. Napaka walang kwenta mong Ina" Youn coldly said as he began stepping back

Lumuhod ako at nagmakaawa

Buhat buhat na ng mga Guard niya ang mga anak ko habang pilit itong pinapasok sa kotse, i cried and beg more

"P-please Young.. I'm sorry... Im sorry.. Wag mo sila kunin sakin.. Wag please.. Sila nalang kinakapitan k-ko young..." i beg and beg.. I did more.. I beg more.

Hoping that it will works but it's not

I only cried.. And my heart, did hurt a lot

"Tang ina! Hindi ko na hahayaan na mapa sayo anak natin! Puta! Pinag kait mo na sakin, pinabayaan mo pa! Hinayaan mong pabayaan nating dalawa! And you know it.. Ayoko sa lahat ang pabaya..." he's voice growing more deeper

I beg a lot.. I apologize more and a lot.

" Please.. S-sorry.. Please... Huwag mo sila kunin sakin.. Please.. "

He only turn over, he started walking away as the pain in my heart grow bigger and thicker.. Why does it hurt so much?

"A-ayaw mo sa pabaya.. Pero ilang beses mo n-na akong pinabayaan at pina u-ubaya..." i whispered, he stop walking.. He glance to my direction, before he look at me coldly