Book of Noodle

Chapter 26

"BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS ALL MY FAULT! ISN'T IT MURDOC! ISN'T IT!?!?"

"No- Love I'm not saying that at all!"

"Then what are you saying Murdoc. Because what I'm hearing is that you are blaming me for Sia's death!"

It was supposed to be a quiet evening. As usual... I did the cooking, not that there was much to cook as we hardly had anything to eat except for 3 eyes fish, the jellyfish and whatever radioactive crustaceans Cyborg and Erin could find. If we were lucky a crate of rations would wash up and we could eat for a few days but that just wasn't the case today.

This evening was not going as planned. Finishing bringing food to 2D I listen in as Erin and Murdoc talked rather quietly and of course I had to listen in. For personal reasons of course. It wasn't really interesting until I heard Murdoc say something long the lines of "Should've just kept her down here with me. That way we wouldn't be in this mess."

And that's when I lost it.

"T-That's not what I said at all. Y-You just came in at the wrong moment! Honest this wasn't YOUR fault!"

"Noodle. I know your upset bu' he wasn't blaming you at all. He's just saying he wishes you two were more careful."
Erin said, placing a hand on my sholder.

"Shut up!"
I snapped at her shoving her away.
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! You know NOTHING about this! You know NOTHING about HER!"

"Noodle, listen to me love. It's not your fault it's-"

"It's all my fault! I didn't catch her in time! She died because if me!
I shouted as hot tears streamed down my face.

"It's not your fault! Stop sayin' that!"

"Bullshit Murdoc! You and I both know she wouldn't of died if I never agreed to let her up there with me!"
I sobbed.
"It's all my fault!"

"It's not love. Its not."
He wrapped his arms around me. Holding me close.
"None of this is your fault Noodle love. And i'm so, so sorry that you had to go through this alone. You're just a kid. I- I'm sorry."

He proceeded to hold me close as he held me tightly, i hear him sniffle he was crying too.

Sia was... Always a sensitive subject. She was just a baby. We all adored her and we all blamed each other and ourselves for what happened... At least that's what 2D told me. But I knew deep down everyone blamed me.
Everyone all tried their best to make me feel better but it hardly worked.
"I'm sorry..."

After my little moment I managed to calm down for the night. Still upset at everything and everyone.
Laying in my futon I let out a sigh.

"Hey..."
I hear a familiar cockney accent speak as I then hear a knock at the door.
"Can I come in?"

It was 2D. He seemed hesitant.

"Sure...i guess."
I replied sitting up.
"What is it?"

"I-I heard de argumen'... I wanted to check and see if you were alright."

"I-I'm okay... Thanks."
I replied softly with a sniffle. Grabbing ahold of my plushie.

"But you're not..."
He sat down next to me.
"You're not okay love. I know yew're not. Talk to meh."

I let out a sigh looking up at him. After taking a deep breath i tell him everything. Every detail, every emotion, every heart wrenching, mind breaking, soul tearing feeling I had in my body.

I laughed, I cried, I screamed and I sobbed until I got everything out of me.

"It hurts 2D! It hurts so bad and I can't make it go away! I've tried, so many times to make it stop. But it won't stop!"