Kimberley stared at Cheryl as the words that she had just heard registered in her head. She let her hand fall from the door handle but stayed where she was stood.
"what"? she asked after a minute, a frown beginning to form on her face. She doubted that she had heard Cheryl wrong, but she asked again anyway.
"Don't make me say it again" Cheryl replied meekly before breaking their eye contact. She exhaled deeply before walking away from the door and over to the window.
She watched as the younger girl focused her attention on something outside the window, so she didn't have to look at Kimberley.
"Cheryl"? Kimberley said, softening her tone. Cheryl looked at her reluctantly before dropping her gaze to the floor.
"I said...I love you" she replied with a little shrug of her shoulders. It was only then that she looked back up to Kimberley, who was stood staring at her with an unreadable expression on her face.
-
"but you said..." Kimberley started, only to be interrupted by Cheryl.
"I know what I said Kimberley".
Kimberley walked over to the bed and let herself fall on to it before dropping her head to her hands. "I don't understand" she admitted, lifting her head back up to look at Cheryl.
"its not that hard to work out" Cheryl shot back, instantly regretting the tone that she had used.
Kimberley was close to snapping back at Cheryl but decided to restrain herself after she seen the look on the girls face.
Cheryl looked back at her hopelessly and she was sure she could see the realisation setting in to Kimberley's mind of what happened last year.
"all this time?" Kimberley asked quietly, still processing the information in her head. She was sure the dull ache that she was feeling wasn't there a few minutes ago.
"I never intended on telling you" Cheryl admitted by way of an apology, dragging her gaze away from Kimberley and fixing her attention on something out of the window again.
"all this time, I thought you hated me" Kimberley muttered, more to herself than Cheryl. She put her head back in to her hands and groaned loudly at the way things had developed.
"I never meant to say those things" Cheryl admitted as she walked over to the bed from where she was stood. She hesitated before sitting on the bed next to Kimberley and wondered if it would have been inappropriate to put her arm around the girl.
"why didn't you just tell me" Kimberley asked, picking her head up. They were closer to each other in that one moment than they had been in a year, and the uneasiness didn't go unnoticed by either of them.
"because..." Cheryl started, "it was better than you hating me for loving you" she sighed, her eyes looking away as soon as Kimberley looked at her.
-
"is that what you think of me?" Kimberley asked with a frown, turning on the bed so that she was facing Cheryl.
From down the stairs they could hear the laughter of the other girls reaching to the guest room. Their laughter was in stark contrast to the emotions going on in Nadine's guest bedroom as Kimberley got up off the bed with a sigh.
"can we talk about this later" Cheryl asked. All she really wanted to do at that point was climb in to bed and forget that the whole of the past year had happened.
Kimberley nodded reluctantly and walked out of the door, shutting it behind her. She turned back round for a second and wondered whether to go back in.
She shook her head as if to tell herself to leave it until later and walked back downstairs in to the laughter of her three other friends, although the last thing she wanted to do at that moment was laugh.
-
Cheryl climbed in to her bed, thankful to be back at the hotel. It was gone four before they had all decided to get a taxi back together, apart from Nadine who was staying in her villa. She had spent the rest of the night trying to pay attention to the other three girls, although she seemed to find her eyes wondering over to Kimberley every now and again.
She was thankful that the older girl had at least give her a chance to speak, even if she didn't get to say all the things she planned to. In the year that she had to plan their first conversation, it was never meant to happen the way it did.
The night wasn't as awkward as it could have been however, and for that she was thankful. She closed her eyes against the tiredness and wondered what tomorrow would bring.
-
The only image she could see in her mind was Kimberley's face, except it wasn't the way she wanted to remember her. It was the face that she had seen a year ago, the face that she seen frequently in her dreams lately.
She still looked beautiful, that would never change. But the look that she gave Cheryl as she turned away and walked out of her life was worse than a thousand daggers in her heart.
It was a look of total bewilderment mixed with pain, the pain that only someone you really love can cause you.
The pain that only someone you thought would never hurt you could ever cause you.
