"Mine has been a life of much shame. I can't even guess myself what it must be to live the life of a human being." - Dazai Osamu
What is life but a game of cat and mouse? You chase happiness, love, validation and run from fear, disappointment and shame. Such a game only came to an end once the trapped soul within a body of flesh and bones exhales its last breath before then rotting away like all other things temporary.
This was the view on life that Elizabeth Airedale had, a soon-to-be eighteen year old student of Bridgeton High. There wasn't exactly anything peculiar about the teen, she wasn't overly popular, nor was she bullied; she simply existed. She had friends, not a bunch, but a little group she hung out with during lunch and sometimes they would see each other after school as well.
Despite having friends she would consider close, Elizabeth would spend most of her time alone in her one bedroom apartment her father had rented in Bridgeton. But why did the girl live on her own? Well, her father was a lawyer with his main field being that of murder and assault cases, meaning that he worked long hours and needed to stay close to his office in New York City. His daughter never did well with changes, nor did she enjoy over the top, crowded schools and decided that she'd do better in a small town, away from the stressful city life.
Like any decent parent, Jones Airedale worried about his teenage daughter. Elizabeth had struggled with anxiety since an early age and had prescription medications for both her anxiety and depression. Her father was oblivious to how bad it actually was, writing his daughter's struggles off as your average teenage crisis, though that was only because of Elizabeth being such a convincing liar.
The girl would hold her struggles to herself, never saying too much while attending therapy, just enough to keep the medications coming and having a good excuse for whenever she didn't feel like going to school. No sane person would send their struggling child to school against their will with the knowledge that such an ordeal could make their mental state worsen.
So yes, the young girl lived by herself in a rather nice one-roomer in the middle of town, with no grown-ups to limit her freedom or question her life choices.
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.
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It was the second week of the semester, the weather was still warm in the state of New York and the sun was hot enough to fry eggs on the pavement. It was 9.40am on Monday morning, Elizabeth had skipped the first period which had been math, but was getting ready for one of her new classes which she happened to be quite excited for. This was an individually chosen class which all high school students could choose to take, so she had decided to try it out for her last year. The class in question was ethics and morals, a course that branched out from sociology which was mandatory all throughout high school. None of her friends had signed up for the course, so she would be all alone with people she knew of but did not know, that being fine. Of course it was nice to have someone to talk to during class, but Lizzie didn't have a problem being alone. Being alone meant more time to think which most of the time drove her mad, but when it came to things such as discussing moral and ethical dilemmas, thinking was what she loved the most. She had loved sociology since her first semester at Bridgeton High, the discussion of sensitive topics and arguing for what the majority thought was wrong. Her grades were all decent, but sociology along with psychology were her strongest subjects, those being the only two classes she even bothered to read the literature given out for the classes.
The human brain was wondrous with so many questions left unturned and unanswered. Humans, unlike most mammals, feel guilt, remorse, anxiety; they have morals and rules to obey within their society. Layers upon layers of mystery that science spends endless time on decoding; why do some fear spiders? What makes a killer? Who decides what's right and wrong? And at what point does a person no longer count as being human?
