Beautiful Tragedy. (h.s fanfic)

Chapter Seven.

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Harrys POV:

No matter what I did, what I thought about, how hard I tried I couldn't get to sleep. Hazel orbs filled my head, a beautiful toothy smile, her coconut scent, her plump pink lips. Her lips on mine. Ugh! What was she doing to me? I hadnt felt like this in such a long time. I had completely forgotten about the side effects brought. The feeling my stomach would make when I thought of her, butterflies going mental, when she looked my way. The way she bites her lip, I couldn't stop thinking about her, I have never thought so much about a girl. I've know her a total of almost four days. Four days! But, there was something about her. Something to discover. I want, need to discover what it is. She's a lesbian, for crying out loud. She would never fall for me, am I beginning to fall for her? I have not fallen for a girl since, Vanessa. Who broke my heart, into a million tiny pieces. Now, i just saw girls as a game, an escape from reality for a short time. I need to know who Charlotte is. I have too, I have to discover what she is hiding. I want to make her smile, make her laugh. Her laugh, oh her laugh. I did whatever I could to make her laugh last night. I still couldn't figure out how someone could do that to her, put scars on her body, how could someone break someone do badly? Hurt her beyond repair? Like you're one to talk. My mind says.
Yeah, I'm an idiot. I hurt girls for fun, for the thrill. I'm messed up, I know. But, I have my reasons, girls willing dropped their panties for me, they made it too easy. I liked feeling wanted, wanted by girls, it makes me feel whole for a small amount of time. I haven't told anyone this, no one, not even Lou or the boys. My father never wanted me, I need someone to want me, even if it wasn't for long. The anger comes back, frequency. Still, to this day I am unsure of why my parents didn't want me. I didn't do anything wrong, he was just some messed up junkie. Just as messed up as myself.

8:09am
I sigh, there's no point trying to sleep if I can't. I haven't slept well in so long, never getting a full night sleep, it will be the death of me.
I pull myself from my bed, chucking on my grey tracksuits, and my "teenage runaway" sloppy joe, grabbing my cigarettes from my jacket pocket.
I make myself downstairs, sweeping the mop out of my eyes. I really need a bloody haircut.
Reaching the kitchen I grab an apple from the fruit bowl and make my way outside, lighting my fag.
I spot the mess Charlotte drunkly made this morning, I laugh as I remember how she continually vomited at my comments.
I stuff my apple in my pocket, and grab the hose. I turn the tap on, and hose away her mess.
"Hey Haz," startled, I turn around, I'm welcome by Leah staring at me.
"Whatcha doing?"
"Cleaning Char's mess up, saves her doing it." I answer, shrugging
"That's nice of you." She says, raising an eyebrow.
I sigh, "What?"
"Oh, nothing." She smirks, shaking her head slightly.
"No, what?" I hiss, crossing my eyebrows.
"Since when, do you do nice things for girls?" She mutters, a small smile ghosting on her lips.
"Always." I snap. If she bombards me with questions, I swear to god.
"Relax, shit. I'm just asking. Why're you getting so defensive?"
"Because, I know what you're like, Leah. I'm not in the mood, I've had fuck all sleep." I murmur, running my hand through my hair, pulling lightly to release the stress she is causing. I take a long drag of my cigarette, after the mess is gone, I walk over and turn the tap off, dropping the hose at my feet.
"You never have enough sleep, anyway. Seems to me you're quite interested in Char." She says, as I make my way over to the logs, sitting down. She begins tilting her head to the side. Her eyes darken, "I swear Harry, if this is part of your fucked up game." She snaps, I lift my head up at her.
"It's not, fuck! I wouldn't do that too her, she's had enough of that type of shit in her life!" I snap back, without thinking. "What? How would you know what has happened to her and not?" She asks, crossing her arms.
I ignore her, taking another long drag of my smoke, letting the smoke dance around me.
"Harry." She whispers, concern in her voice. I roll my eyes, fuck she annoys me, I love her to death, and class her as a sister, but shit.
I sigh, raking my hand through my hair, yet again.
It's to early for this shit.
"She hasn't told you about her ex-girlfriend, Deacoda?" I ask, curiously.
She shakes her head, moving closer to the unlit fire.
"Fuck sake, I shouldn't even be repeating this! If you keep your mouth shut about it, I'll tell you, okay?" I mutter, holding out my pinky finger.
She nods, quickly, walking over and looping her finger with mine.
I fill her in, about everything Charlottes ex-girlfriend, the way she treated her, broke her, literally. My blood boiling thinking about it. A scared, broken Charlotte crosses my mind.
"She broke her arm? She basically used her as an ash tray.." Leah whispers, shaking her head, eyes on the ground.
"Just, please don't repeat anything. Please" I mutter, as nicely as I can.
"Oh god, Harry. I won't." She mutters, resting her hands in her lap. "I just don't understand why she'd tell you, and not me?"
"I don't know, the night I meet her when we were seated at the fire, and I offered her a shoulder, if she needed to get anything off her chest."
"Why'd you save her from Matt?" She asks, randomly. Just hearing that cunts name makes me want to rage, I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to calm myself.
"Don't go there, Leah."
"Chill, Harry." She snaps, must be that time of the month. Her random moods are confusing me.
I bite the inside of my cheek, shaking my head.
"She's nice though, isn't she? Very pretty."
I nod. Pretty? She's absolutely beautiful. Her laugh, fuck. Her way her hips rolled over mine. My cheeks heat, just thinking about her.
"You are interested in her! I can tell by the way you react when I just talked about her." She squeals, causing me to sigh. How the fuck did girls guess these things so easily? Especially Leah, it's like she could see through anyone, read them like a book.
"Holy fuck, you haven't been generally interested in a girl since.. Well, yeah."
She mutters, she knew very well not to bring up Vanessa, everyone did. It was touchy subject for me, a subject I'd like to forget and have it not mentioned.
"There's just something about her.." I murmur, rubbing the back of my neck.
"Harry, you're setting yourself up for rejection.."
"I know.. Just keep it to yourself"
"You know I will."
"Her and I.. well.. We kissed.."
"What! And she, she kissed you back?" She asks, shocked, forcing her attention all on me.
I nod, slowly, fiddling with my lip ring between my index finger and thumb.
"Just keep it to yourself, we were both drunk alright? But, the way her lips moved on.." I mutter, shaking my head.
"I get the picture! I won't say anything, we'll pretend that this conversation never happened." She speaks, smirking.
"Just glad you actually admitted up to something, once in your life." Leah adds.
She jumps up off the the seat, moving closer to me, russling her hand over my hair, causing curls to drop into my face.
"Leah.. You haven't told Char about the game the boys and I have, have you?" I ask, shaking the curls out of my face.
She shakes her head, locking her lips and throwing a invisible key over her shoulder.
"Why're you awake anyway?" I ask, before she walks inside, she shrugs, and walks back inside.
I flick my now unlit cigarette into the non burning fire, grabbing out the apple and taking a bite, sighing whilst chewing.
Charlotte, what're you doing to me?