I think I ruined my future when I met my boyfriend... I had potential to be someone... I had dreams and goals but getting with him turned me into a puppet.
I've always been tragically fragile, I get extremely attached to people easily and once that attachment is there I can't lose it. No matter how that person treats me. I become almost dependent on them, life without them seems meaningless. Hence why I cannot leave him or do anything to upset him. I don't think he's a bad person, I don't think he'd do something knowing it would hurt me because he loves me...
My job terrifies me though, a lot of people are really scary like this one chic came in and said she was a time traveler and just started talking about all she's witnessed and how she's died before? She came in a few times, texted me a bit then vanished...
Then this other guy, Vito came in once, we did our thing but his vibe seriously freaked me out... He definitely has blood on his hands and I hope to never see him again. If I do I'll probably shut down.
As much as I despise my job, it's better than the abuse I endured growing up. I remember nights where I would shield my head as my father whacked me with the tv remote for being obviously attracted to men. I remember my mom shoving my head into the sink which was filled with ice and water to help make the bruises go away. I remember being beaten so badly I tried running away in the middle of winter but only made it to the back shed. I remember having to grow up isolated to avoid dragging people into my situation.
Partner-related they were all just like my parents... until my current boyfriend, he doesn't hurt me and I'm grateful for that.
