me and your ghost || lexdine

1

hello. my name is lexy cross. i used to live the life of a relatively normal teenaged girl. i used to have a boyfriend named junior wheeler, who was the sweetest boy in the world. he was on the track team and he just had the most amazing heart. he was always kind to me, and everyone he met. i had everything i could've ever wanted. i was popular, i had lots of friends, i had it all. that is until jake wheeler came into my life, and now all of that has been flushed down the toilet.

now i'm here. sitting on my bed, crying, because a stupid ginger haired doll killed my bestfriend, nadine. she's not necessarily somebody i ever thought i'd be friends with. i even told her when i arrived to incarnate lord that we were not going to be friends, ever. i never even wanted to go to this stupid place anyway. my mom's therapist (who turned out to be working with chucky all along) sent us here. but nadine was always so positive. even though we were always on the brink of death, i never even saw her frown once. she was always happy. we quickly became close, and she was one of the best friends i ever had. now that she's gone, i don't know what to do with myself. 

"lexy? can i come in?" i turned around to see jake wheeler, another person who was the last person i ever thought would be my friend, standing in the doorway. we never really got along in middle school. i was the prissy popular rich girl with a famous mayor mom, and he was the lonely gay kid everyone bullied. i'm ashamed to admit that i was was one of those kids who bullied him. i was a real bitch. but oddly enough, after he sent chucky to kill me, we became very close friends. he's honestly not even my friend at this point, he's family. we've been through so much together.. too much. he feels more like family than my mother ever has. i think that should say something. i quickly wiped my eyes so he wouldn't see me crying. i knew it was normal to be grieving the loss of my bestfriend, but i still really did not want him to see me like that.

"yeah, you can come in." i replied.

he slowly and cautiously walked into my room, as if i was going to viciously attack him if he didn't, and carefully sat next to me on my bed.

the silence between the two of us was loud and awkward. he didn't know what to say, and neither did i. at this point, we were all pretty much used to losing someone we loved. jake had lost his father and his cousin, junior, who was my boyfriend. jake had also lost his mother when he was young. devon had lost his mother, and had lost his father when he was in elementary school. and i had lost my dad, my boyfriend junior, and my bestfriend, nadine. and it was all chucky's fault.

after a couple minutes of awkward silence, jake finally spoke up.

"i'm so sorry, lexy." it seemed to me that that was all that he could say to me. i took my eyes that were glued to the floor, and made eye contact with him. behind his eyes, i could see so much pain and grief, so much guilt, so many different emotions. it was obvious to me that he was still grieving so many losses too. i immediately started to sob. "this is all my fault jake. if i was there to help in time, none of this would've happened." i continued to sob.

jake looked at me with such sincerity, such love. this was the first time i had ever felt truly disgusted by myself for the way i had treated this guy. i truly wondered how he couldn't hate me. "lexy, this is not your fault. in no way is this your fault. if anything, it's mine. if i didn't buy that stupid doll, none of this would've happened. it's my fault, not yours." he said. i aggressively shook my head at him. "no, jake. this isn't your fault. chucky is evil. he would've ended up hurting people anyway, even if you never bought him from that yard sale. none of this is your fault." i said, looking into his eyes.

suddenly, i heard my door crack open ever so slightly. "can i come in, too?" i looked up to see my other bestfriend, devon evans, in the doorway. he was very close with junior before he passed away. devon was always into true crime and anything horror related. he even had his own true crime podcast called "hackenslash" where he would talk about the different murders that had occurred in hackensack. of course, after all of the chucky murders, he quit the podcast. i smiled at him. "yes, of course." i said. he nodded and walked in and sat on the other side of me.

he didn't really know what to say to me, either. he would glance over at me every once in a while, then stare at the ceiling, and so on. he then finally spoke up. "are you doing okay?" he asked. i looked at him, and gave him an annoyed look. i knew he was just trying to be friendly, but did he seriously think i was okay? "no. no devon, i'm not okay." i replied honestly. devon nodded his head. he knew that would be the response, but i could tell it still hurt him to hear. he turned to me and gave me a hug.

"i'm sorry, lexy. nadine was so young, she didn't deserve this." devon said. jake then joined in on the hug as well. as i felt the warm embrace of my friends, i realized that they were the only people i could truly ever trust. as i clutched onto them tighter, i started to tear up. "i know." i released from the hug, and took a moment to look at them both. "thank you guys for being the best friends i've ever had. i love you guys so much." i said to them, as i continued to cry.  "we love you too." they said at the same time. jake then looked up at the clock on the wall. he heavily sighed. "i think we should head back to our dorms. do you need anything?" he asked. i smiled weakly. "no, i'm good. thank you though." i replied. jake nodded and hugged me one last time, then him and devon went off to their dorms.

once they left. i got ready for bed like i usually did. i brushed my teeth, got into my pajamas, and tried my best to fall asleep. incarnate lord was under new management now, since that last guy quit. even after all that's happened, nobody outside of this dumpster fire knows what really happened here. nadine's death was ruled as a suicide by police, and that pisses me off so much, since everyone here knows the truth. her family and friends back home think she jumped out the window. it's so sad and messed up that nobody will ever know the truth.

for some weird reason, i felt the need to talk to nadine. which was odd, because i never really did. of course i wanted to but, she was dead. there was no way i could talk to her. but nonetheless, i closed my eyes, and begun to talk to nadine in my head.

"hi nadine. it's me, lexy. life's been tough since you left us. ever since you passed, i've just been crying nonstop. i still have flashbacks every single day of the day you died. i cant get that image out of my head. i'm not really religious, but if god really is real, i hope you're up there with him in heaven. i hope you're happy and living your best life. i'm sorry.. for everything. all i want in the world more than anything right now, is to be able to hug you and talk to you one last time. you were such an amazing human being. you were always smiling, always happy. i aspire to be more like you every single day i walk this earth. i'm going to try and fall asleep, but i'll talk to you again tomorrow. goodnight nadine."

i turned off the lamp on the desk side table, closed my eyes, and slowly fell asleep.

AN: OMGGG the first chapter is done!! hope you enjoyed it! i'll be sure to keep updating. tysm for reading, it means so much to me as an aspiring writer! pls give me any tips if you have any! construction criticism is always welcome <3