Evan Farrington's Confession | ✔️

one

Evan leaned a little further out of her window and into the night. The street smelled of cool mist and the pathetic rain which had been hanging like heavy cloud since they had arrived in late October. It was now almost February and it remained in the air, smothering everything in a film of damp. Evan hoped it would go away with winter. But winter was showing no signs of going away. The forest loomed across the road like a deep green shadow. Evan took a last breath of the outside air before sliding her window down. She shut her book and sat back in her desk chair, stretching out her legs so her knees clicked. The chair let out a loud creak. It couldn't actually be called a desk chair; it had been repurposed from the dining table. It had ruined the symmetry of the kitchen but Evan had moved it despite Suzanne's protests, wanting somewhere to eat that wasn't on her bed; the crumbs were driving her mad. Suzanne had told her that she could just sit with them at the table but Evan had ignored her mother and refused help dragging the stupid thing up the stairs. Suzanne had called after her to 'mind the carpets' so Evan hoisted it higher above the floor.

She put her face in her hands. The light was dim in her bedroom but the darkness behind her fingers was better. It wasn't quite complete; her fingers were rimmed with an orange glow that persisted no matter how tightly she squeezed them together. She didn't dare close her eyes. Her mind was buzzing too quick for that. Evan pulled her head up and thrummed her fingers on the table. The drumming crumbled the stale silence in her bedroom and made her feel slightly less lonely.

The Emperors had been quiet all day. They were normally at their most irritating right before tea. Going on and on about her family forgetting what she looked like, forgetting the sound of her voice, forgetting if she liked orange juice or apple juice or just plain old water. Tonight there had been no yapping. Absolutely bloody nothing. And it had been awful. The easing in her constant headache had been replaced by a twist in her stomach.

Evan was fully aware that schizophrenia did not just vanish. She had read her fair share of online articles on the subject. Not out of worry, more curiosity. Because of this she knew that it should have taken years of therapy and medication to accomplish anything close to what seemed to have happened to her less than overnight. She lay one hand on her stomach and pinched her bottom lip with the other. Her nails were short enough that it didn't hurt. The silence was rising in her throat, blocking the pathway for air with its foggy arms. Soft, carpeted footsteps approached her door. Evan stood, pushed her chair underneath her desk and straightened her book to a right angle with the edge of the wooden table.

"Ev, dinner!" Suzanne yelled from just outside.

"I'm right here, Mum," Evan said. She opened the door and leaned on the frame.

"Dinner time. Come downstairs," Suzanne said. Her light hair was neat and she was wearing a perfectly clean apron over the top of her blouse. "Please?"

"No thanks. I'll get something later."

Evan took a small step back but made no move to close the door. Suzanne's face hardened, dropping the act.

"Come on, Ev. You've not seen your grandad in days." She folded her arms and leaned her weight on one leg. "He'll not recognise you." It was clearly meant to be a joke but it wasn't said like one. Almost as if Suzanne's mouth wasn't quite used to the intonation.

Evan jogged downstairs, brushing past her mother like she wasn't there. It was warm and pleasantly humid in the kitchen. Evan breathed deliberately through her nose, relishing the rich, tangy smell of tomato sauce. The dining table was set with bowls of tomato pasta and garlic bread. There were two empty places, one with and one without a chair. Evan took the bowl from the latter and tore a couple of pieces of garlic bread out of the baguette. Marcus had all four of the end pieces teetering on the edge of his bowl. The small plate that had, assumedly, been full of Parmesan cheese was empty save for a few sad looking shreds. It hadn't actually been Parmesan, it was Grana Padano. Not quite as good but about half the price.