𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄

01 ♰ august

I watch my fingers shakily push the keys of the piano. Blood drip from my already bruised skin down to the white keys. I hate how the red mix with the whites. It makes everything dirty.

"Again."

Since six a.m. drop, I haven't left the drawing room. Mom patiently waited for me in her beige slacks, brown turtle neck and pump. I was glad I wore my ribbed cardigan to avoid my arms being hit by her stick.

"Focus."

It was currently 10:30 and I've been practicing the same piece over and over again since six. Mom said that something is wrong with my focus today and she didn't like how I played the keys. Kaya pinalabas niya ang parental stick niya, because she believes na matututo ako ng mabilis kapag may kasamang punishment.

Ate Claire has been watching me behind those crack doors for hours. I saw how she wince whenever Mom hit me with a stick. She looks at me with pity but I don't need them from this moment up to my future practice with Mom.

Pity won't get me anywhere. Her pity won't stop Mom from hitting me. Everyone who have pitied me won't help me being free from my cage every day. Kapag pwede kong i-convert ang awa nila sa pera ay baka bilyonaryo na ako.

"Stop. Stop."

I stop pushing the keys and look at my mom standing on the other side of the piano. She crossed her arms, her stick moving up and down as if she wanted them to hit my hands again. Her right pump made a clicking sound that echo in the four corners of the drawing room.

"I don't know what's happening to you this morning, August."

Inilagay ko sa binti ang dumudugo kong kamay. "I'm sorry, Mom."

"You have only two months left before ang birthday ng Abuelo mo." She pace in front of me. "Marami ang bisita na darating, from high business partners to musicians. Musicians! August!"

I purse my lips. "We have two months left, Mom. I'm pretty sure I can perfect them before Abuelo's birthday."

"What if you don't?" She stops pacing and gave me a challenging stare.

The only thing that I love about her is her green eyes that I inherit. What I hated about her is her toxic trait that she wants everything to be perfect. Hindi pa man kami nakakarating sa gustong pupuntahan ay puro mali na ang nakikita niya. If I'll put my mother in a nice day, she'll find loopholes and errors, and condemned that that is the worst day of her life.

"I promise that Abuelo's birthday will be perfect. I'll make everyone happy and at awe when I perform." I taunt to ease her mind.

Mom sigh. "Dismiss. Dismiss. Dismiss." Bulong niya na kaagad kong tinanggap at umalis sa pagkakaupo sa harap ng piano. "Next week nalang tayo magkita, August."

"Yes, Mom." She bent down to let me kiss her in a cheek. Walang lingunan akong umalis sa drawing room at sinara ang pinto.

I awkwardly gaze with my sister who wanted to hug me. Walang pasabi akong umalis sa harap niya at nilakad ang mahabang hallway mula drawing room papuntang kwarto ko. Ate Claire is following me.

"Leave me alone." I whispered.

"I will not." Nilampasan niya ako at tumigil sa harap ko. "Let me tend those bruises." She gently offered.

"Ako na." Gusto ko sanang umalis pero hinarangan niya ako. Ate Claire and I are very different to each other. She likes pop music and rock, whilst I like soothing ones with piano and classical.

"Please." She insisted so I let her. She carefully grabs my hand as if I was made of porcelain. Ako na mismo ang pumisil ng mahigpit. Hindi naman masakit ang sugat ko kaya kumapit na ako ng mahigpit. She took that invitation to squeeze my hand back and we ascend the stairs to the second floor.

She opens her room door and lead me to her bed. Umupo ako at dali-dali niyang binuksan ang drawer sa study table para makuha ang first aid kit. "I'm sorry this happened to you."

Mom barely tolerates Ate Claire. She expected her to be like her. Elegant, book smart and perfect that everyone in high status position will tilt their head in the direction where she stands, but instead, Ate Claire is the biggest opposite of those.

Instead of practicing the music that Mom likes and offered, Ate Claire decided to disregard the piano and violin, and took the electric guitar. I am so glad that she has her own studio far away from the house to practice that instrument. Maliban sa ayaw iyon ni Mom ay nakakarindi talaga sa tenga.

Ate Claire wore jeans and band t-shirts, while me and my mother wore dresses, slacks, cardigans, or any clothes that are perfectly fit for old money aesthetic.

We grew up in an old money life. The family inherent the never-ending money from the ancestors. Company. Music. Investments. Etc. This house came from the first generation of Isolde.

Every Isolde has green eyes, but Ate Claire didn't inherit the Isolde's green eyes. Nakuha niya ang mukha ni Dad.

Mom has her favorite and that's me. Ever since I learn how to walk, she already plans my life out there. She dictates me which course in college suit me, what music to play and what hobby to pick.

I wonder how Ate Claire manage to disobey Mom without getting hit. Unlike me, kahit masama na tingin palang ay halos gusto ko nang magpalamon sa lupa.

"Sana ako nalang ikaw."

Ate Claire snort. "Trust me, Jace. Kapag ikaw ay naging ako, mapapasabi ka nalang na gusto mong maging si August Jace Isolde nalang habam-buhay." She tend my bruise with a cotton and betadine. "You will hate my life."

"Hindi ko maintindihan bakit parang wala lang sa 'yo na magalit si Mom sa mga ginagawa mo." I wonder while heaving a deep sigh.

Ate Claire blew my hand. "Ayokong may dumidikta sa akin, Jace. I'm ninteen at may sarili akong utak. I don't like how Mom pick something for me which I don't like. Maganda rin sana piliin ang piano at violin, kaso hindi talaga iyon ang kinahiligan ko."

She wraps my both hands in white bandage. "I don't like law. Gusto kong maging singer. Hindi kaya ng utak ako ang ganoong pag-aaral."

"Okay lang sa iyo na i-hate ka ni Mom?" Tanong ko nang magkatinginan kaming dalawa. Ate Claire said that she really like my eyes. Despite of being identical to Mom, she said that she always saw me—as August Jace Isolde.

"Okay lang. Mahal ko parin siya." She sighs.

Tumahimik kaming dalawa. Bago siya nagsalita muli ng siyang nagpatibok ng mabilis sa puso ko.

"Wanna go out?"