weeooo I Hate myself

mental battles

It hurts.
Like alot..
I had a headache for three days because I was stressing out about being stuck in boring place I've seen a million times.
I need to get out more but I can't stand public places because it scares me.
Whenever I go out in the store,I keep my head down and I don't look at anybody at all.
School I can do because Ive seen everybody,I know everyone,their faces,how they'll react to me and it's a familiar setting.
I went to my cousin's for a week after my birthday and I couldn't go anywhere without having a panic attack.Anywhere I go I cling to somebody's side.
The second trimester started and I have a teacher that I don't and she doesn't like me and insgvent been at school for it and I ahte it!
This is killing me..
I want it to stop but it won't go away...
I either wake up better then ever and I'm ready to go
Or I feel like the shittiest human being alive.
I feel like I'm letting down my partners because I'm so angry and distant but clingy and I can't stand to lose them.
Most of the time I shut down and I don't talk to any ody for a day and then I apologize.
I can't stand it..
I dropped my gf and I's promise ring down the drain at my aunt's house and I still hate mysled for it,it meant so much to us as a pair and I ruined it..
I ruin everything
Anywhere I am I make everything worse.