Author: rulersmakebadlovers
Again: 2016
"So let me get this straight, you're giving me an ultimatum? I'm either your friend or just...nothing at all?" Lindsey looks at you dumbfounded.
You sit down with him at the table so you can both drink your coffee and you nod, "Yes."
"What the hell, Steph? How could you just....I mean....don't you love me at all? We've been making love." He was desperately looking for something to cling on to; a look in your eyes, a hand to hold, any kind of anchor he could find.
"I care for you, Lindsey. I just have to start caring about myself a little more. Somewhere out in the world, there's a nice man waiting for me that I could settle down and live out the rest of my days with. I don't want to be too distracted by you to notice him. Plus, let's be honest, we haven't been making love. We've been fucking." You explain carefully, as if the way you say the words will soothe the pain. It doesn't.
Lindsey puts his head in his hands and takes a deep breath, "so you're waiting for some guy, who may very well not even exist, to come along and sweep you off your feet?"
"I believe he exists, yes."
"That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I am right here and I've already done that. I don't want you to be with someone else," this time he takes your hand and looks you in the eyes, begging you not to make him choose.
You move your hand and look away; tears threatening to fall, "you have a wife, Lindsey. It's not up to you whether I'm with someone else or not."
"I thought we had a good thing going here."
"Well you thought wrong. I'm better than this. I'm not your fucking mistress."
Lindsey watched as you got up and poured yourself a bowl of cereal, "I never, ever thought of you like that."
You can't help the laugh that escapes, "but it's not about how you thought about me. It's about how you made me feel. 'Baby, don't leave any marks, I have to go home later.' or 'Let me change so I don't smell like you.' It gets really old, Lindsey. That's not...who we are. That's not who we've ever been. We may be getting older, but that doesn't diminish the passion that's always been between us."
Lindsey nods; agreeing with you, "I know that, baby. I'm sorry."
"Don't call me baby. I'm not your wife. I'm not your girlfriend. I'm not your piece on the side. Do you understand?" You whip around quickly and look at him; hand on your hip and you know he can't help but smile because he thinks it's adorable when you do that, but you are clearly not amused.
He nods and says, "well if you're going to give me an ultimatum; I'm not going to lose you altogether. We can be friends, right? We can do that. We've never tried before."
You sit down at the table to eat your cereal and you shrug, "sure we have. When we were younger, before we were together."
