TW: Alcoholism, depression.
Some words in italics are the character's thoughts.
———————————————————————————2:45 AM, Bar Lupin, Yokohama.
A metro train passed. Sad sorrowful cries could be heard from the sky, the cold air whistled against the nooks and crannies of the city. Dying trees stood tall from the dark ground. It was as if the streets of Yokohama itself were sulking in grief, in dread of the pitiful man inside the Bar Lupin.
The man disqualified from being human.
A man named Dazai Osamu.
The faintest hums of music filled the bar as Dazai rested his head in his hands. He was a clown, a fool. One who got by on joking as to please others. He was a puppet for others' entertainment and amusement. His day off was tomorrow, or today now. He had nowhere to be, no purpose for the days he was off work. He felt empty. What was it he was supposed to do if not at work? If not annoying Kunikida? If not purposely passing his work onto others? If not trying to trick Atsushi and his naiveness? If not to be a jester for others to laugh?
A jester... that was his purpose. The only suitable purpose for those who are no longer human is for those who are grim and disgusting. Those who are disturbing in behavior. For those as... frightful as Dazai. Those who do not deserve— or believe they don't deserve the life they were so gracefully given when they have failed everyone.
When he has failed everyone.
Why was he so? So dreadful? He missed Oda. His seat sat empty. He was taken away, his life ripped from his flesh unfairly. Why? Why was he no longer there!? His expression was saddened. Then there was Ango, a traitor. He hated him. His memories of him made him angry, they made him sad. Why did this all have to happen? Now he was alone in a bar as a loser.
The bartender had tried to make conversation hours ago, but gave up, letting Dazai drink away his sorrows. The bartender must've thought about how pathetic he was, Dazai was sure of it. His eyes were dry from how watery they had been thinking about his late friend. They were empty and sparked with tiredness and sorrow. The eyes of a murderer. One who showed no remorse, oh how those days haunted him. Hundreds lost their lives because of him, and he wasn't sorry. Dazai wasn't happy about it either. He just... didn't know how to feel about it. He felt conflicted.
His heart burned. A sob mingled in his throat but wouldn't come out, not that he wanted it to. It hurt. He lay there, intoxicated by sadness and alcohol. A beautiful shell of flesh with the resemblance to a man lay there in dejection. No human would act like this. He was vile.
Many minutes passed as he contemplated. Dazai was groggy and tired. Sluggishly, he pulled out his phone and checked the time. 3:28 AM. Shit. Even if he had no work today, he still needs to get home and feed his cat.
Slowly, Dazai lifted his head off the counter. He struggled to stand, obviously too drunk to think. He liked it like that.
"Thank... you," He slurred, then struggled to bow.
The bartender was surprised to hear him speak, but happily replied, "No problem, please do get home safe."
"I.. will..."
Dazai lifelessly exited the Bar Lupin, onto the empty sorrowful streets of Yokohama. Still as miserable as ever. The metro was near here, but still a tiring and grueling walk, for a drunkard that is. He admired the stars as he walked, they were more joyful than him. More deserving of being a human being than he will ever be. They had more life than him.
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FanfictionArtist who made the cover is @yayuyow!! ------------------------------ One who struggles to live is one who is miserable. They don't know their purpose. They may struggle with addictions, whether it be to substances, alcohol, pain, starvation, or de...