irrevocable

{Twenty}

Simple Man // Kings of Leon ft. Chris Stapleton (Cover)

Jackson

I've taken a casual stance at Holly's side with one eye on the door handle in case that motherfucker comes back. I'm like an animal who's only semi-unconscious during sleep, one part of their brain still aware of their surroundings in case a predator approaches in the night.

And her dad is a fucking predator.

Holly and her mom are talking as I continue to stand guard although I haven't announced this as my purpose.

"I don't want to be a bother."

"Mom, you're not a bother. We need to get your strength up. You have to eat. Take your vitamins. The doctor said this could help."

I'm half listening to Holly talking to her mom and half focused on the noises outside this room. Do I hear footsteps? Low tone of voice? Aggressive replies? Is there tension in the hallway?

Her dad gave off a vibe I didn't like. I knew I wouldn't like him way before I ever saw him but being in his presence wasn't what I expected. It was worse.

He's more than just an asshole, a terrible husband and father. He's a terrible human being. But more concerning than any of that...he's dangerous. More so than I thought. And I don't want Holly or her mom anywhere near that guy ever again.

"Mom, lie down. Save your energy for when we leave." Holly's attempting to keep her mom in the bed while the woman is pushing to a sitting position.

"We should just go home. This will cost too much. Like your father said, we don't have the money. I don't want you to have to worry about more than you already do."

That's another thing running through my mind. The cost of her medical care. I'm tired of watching Holly shoulder the burden of her family. I've only been here a couple months and already I can tell this is too much for a daughter to stress over on her own.

"Don't worry about it, we'll figure it out." I say, startling Holly. She looks back at me with questions in her eyes. She may not think she's got anyone else in her corner but I'm inserting myself into her life, and that includes this financial stress. Instead of saying any more, I give Holly a small smile, telling her with a reassuring look that I've got her back. I'm not letting her drown in this alone anymore. I rest my hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently in support. While she's got her gaze still on me, I mouth words of reassurance to her.

I love you.

God, do I love this girl. With her, I feel like I'm becoming the man I'm supposed to be. The one focused on the here and now, living life to the fullest, loving the people around me. Filled with hope for what's to come.

When in the hell have I ever been that guy? The one with hope. The one with plans and dreams. That would be never. I was surviving. I was counting the minutes to my escape. I was hiding from the woman who seemed to wreck every plan I ever had. My mom was wrecking plans I didn't even know about. She ruined the relationship I could have had with my dad over pettiness. Over spite. Over harsh judgement in the way he lived when she should have been cleaning up the mess she'd made in her own lifestyle.

No more.

I don't give a shit what happened in the past. Whatever happened between my parents will not hold me back from mending things with my dad. It's already better than any relationship I ever had with my mom who raised me. My dad is proud of me. He smiles when I'm around. He's happy for me. When has that ever been true for her. She didn't even like the way I wrote my name.

The way I fucking wrote my name pissed her off. She said it was too smooth. Too neat. That I should have a pen scratch that no one could read. Because that's how little boys write. I see why she hounded me about it, now that I know what her issue was with my dad. What a piece of shit she is.