Not so English love affair

Rough

I'm drifting in and out of sleep when the rays of sun that have started seeping through my window invite me to finally open my eyes. My room is freezing, my head is pounding and the taste in my mouth is best compared to a mixture of the bottom of an ashtray with a splash of cheap Vodka. Before I manage to form my first coherent thought of the day, feelings of anxiety shoot up my spine and end in a giant heavy ball of worry in my chest. 'Fuck. What happened last night? What did I do? Where the fuck is my phone?' I hastily pat my mattress, searching for my black mirror to tell me what time it is and how much damage I'll be resolving today. Instead, all I can find is my teddy called 'Tijgertje'. "Hello you" I whisper while sniffing the familiar smell of home on my orange fluffy friend. Not wanting to ruin this last sensory link to home with my alcoholic breath I put him back down and sit up causing my heartbeat to move from my chest to my head. It's going to be a rough day..

I'm on my hands and knees, crawling under my bed looking for my phone when I hear someone come into my room, footsteps slowly coming towards me. "Good morning, sunshine" I hear when JJ drags me by the legs from underneath my bed. I fall on my stomach and for a second I think I'm going to be sick. "Oh god, I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt you" she says while helping me sit down on my bed. When the nausea subsides I lift my head and look into the worrying eyes of my friend. "What's wrong, Jess?" I want to answer but instead I feel tears streaming down my face. I'm so tired, I feel sick, I can't find my phone and I really miss my parents. And I'm cold, so fucking cold. When JJ embraces me in a warm hug my tears evolve into sobs and she swings me back and forth. "My phone" I manage to let out before another rising sob blocks my throat from elaborating any further. 

Half an hour later I walk back into my room. We found my phone underneath the pile of clothes I left in the middle of my room the night before, completely out of battery. When I put it on charge it wouldn't turn on straight away so I decided to draw myself a warm bath while JJ made us some breakfast. I feel refreshed with a steaming cup of tea in my hand and notice a set of eyes filled with anticipation looking at me. Although my body feels better, my anxiety only got worse while I was laying in the bath. I don't remember most of last night and, most importantly, don't know what I have been texting and to who. I press the power button and finally the battery illustration turns into a bright white apple. JJ scoots closer to me on my small sofa and puts her chin gently on my shoulder, watching my thumb open my messaging app. I skip an unopened message from my mother and click on my conversation with Luke. I look at JJ who looks back at me and at the same time we both laugh hysterically. 

I see the response I typed last night, when I was still somewhat sober, still in the message box. I must have forgotten to press send before I turned my phone off for the night. What a relief. Along with my worries, my hangover seems to have significantly decreased in intensity and after actually pressing send on my message we dive into our breakfast. I enjoy the fresh fruit, granola and greek yoghurt, while JJ babbles on about the night before. I remember some of her stories. Others are completely new to me. Like the story where I jumped in the front seat of the cab, which I always do, and wouldn't stop talking to the driver who didn't say a single word in return for the whole ride home. All in all it sounded like we both had a good night but we come to a mutual agreement that we didn't move to London to get wasted and black out most nights. We shake hands and agree to skip the partying for a week. 

Sounds like a deal.