Little Royal

Denial

Not too long after, Wille wakes up from Simon gently shaking him awake "Wille you'll miss breakfast if you don't get up now", he quietly says. Wille whines, slowly opening his eyes, the fuzzy feeling not fully gone, but slowly vanishing. He looks up at Simon, face flushed a deep red, remembering his confession from earlier, the embarrassment catching up to him, now that the fuzzy feeling was gone.
"I'm sorry for acting this way, I know you were accepting, but I wanted to leave this part of myself behind, it's embarrassing and I'm weak when I get like this, I can't let it happen again, I need to be in control at all times.", he says firmly. He didn't want to fight the fuzzy feeling, but he had to, he couldn't disappoint the royal family. He needed to be strong like Erik now.
"But-", Simon tries to object, but Wille interrupts him. "Please don't try to change my mind, I couldn't handle it.", he gets up, putting Prins, no his stuffed animal, back in the dresser.
Taking a deep breath, he turns back towards Simon. "I need to go to breakfast now, see you later, thank you again for helping me.", with that he quickly changes clothes and leaves the room. He felt bad for shutting out Simon like this, but it was better like this.

At the breakfast table, Wille was quiet, thinking about his brother Erik and about what happened the night before. His thoughts were interrupted by August adressing him in front of everyone, "Wille, do you have something to tell us?", Wille looked at him, not understanding what he meant. "You left the party yesterday, did you make out with someone?", the other boys cheered. Wille shot back, "No I didn't, I went to sleep, wasn't feeling too well". "But you weren't there when we knocked to be let in", August challenged. "Well I went for a walk first, I needed fresh air, you must have knocked then.", Wille started to get upset, his hands balling into fists in his lap. He didn't like being put on the spot like that, in front of all the others. August held up his hands in defeat, "No need to get upset Crown Prince, we were just wondering.", he mocked. Everyone laughed. Wille couldn't take it anymore, he got up and left the room. He didn't want to go back to his room so soon, in case Simon was still there, so he hid in a corner and leaned against the wall, pulling his knees to his chest. He started chewing on his thumbnail, the fuzzy feeling nagging at him again. It was always easier for him to regress than to pull himself out of it, the fuzziness was just made him too fragile. He heard someone walking in the corridor, close to where he was hiding, hoping that the person would pass him, he retreated further into the corner, but the floorboards creaked slightly. He froze and prayed that the person didn't hear it, but the steps paused, only for them to resume again, but coming closer this time. Wille held his breath and closed his eyes, wanting to turn invisible on the spot. The footsteps stopped in front of him, Wille didn't dare open his eyes. "I can see you, you know", he heard August's voice, mocking him again. Wille slowly opened his eyes, struggling to find words, he stuttered "Leave me alone". He was embarrassed, but he didn't know how to get out of the situation, frozen in fear. August approached him and crouched down in front of him, "Hey I'm sorry for putting you on the spot like that, it's a tradition, I didn't think it would make you uncomfortable." Wille was too scared that his voice would fail him, so he didn't reply. "I'm so sorry Wille, I promised Erik I would protect you and all I did was put you on the spot. You're not Erik, he wouldn't have minded, but you two are different, I should treat you as you and not like a copy of Erik.". Wille could tell August felt bad, since their talk about Erik and August's father last night, he saw him in a different light.
Slowly Wille looked up at August, "I just miss him so much", he sniffled. "Hey, me too, he was my best friend, I never thought I would have to live without him.", August also got emotional now. Wille felt the fuzziness coming back, the way August talked made him feel safe, but he had to fight it, no matter how nice August was being, he couldn't let him find out.
Wille scrambled to get up, and turned away from August, but the other boy caught his wrist, "Please let me help you, you don't have to go through this alone, you can always talk to me.", Wille nodded and walked back towards his room.
Finally back in his room, he slid down against the door and put in headphones. The music in his ears grounded him, finally allowing him to fully regain his adult headspace.