Wishful Thinking | The Outsiders

1 || Empty Feelings

Time changes people. It makes them taller, wider, older, smaller. It makes them arrogant, or scared, or heaven forbid, wiser. Time makes people think, and when people think, ideas are made. When ideas are made, things go to chaos. Sometimes, it's argued that things would be much better if nobody had a brain at all.

Johnny Cade laid in his cold bedroom, staring at the ceiling and pondering these heavy thoughts. He glanced from the bottom of the wall, up the corners of the room, towards the ceiling again, then finally, to his own scarred hands. They were thick, white, gnarly marks of the past, and it wasn't just his hands that were painted with them.

A year. It's been a year since Johnny was released from the hospital, and robbed of the ability to walk. He hasn't been outside of his less-than-perfect home since then, which was downright upsetting to both him, and his friends. Even if he was paralyzed from the middle of his back down, there were worse things than being a cripple. Can't think of anything? Well, there was war, for starters. Lots, and lots, and lots of war.

"Get out of my house, you disgusting display!"

"I'll walk out as soon as you get a job, you disgrace!"

Johnny closed his eyes numbly upon hearing the shouts. His parents were constantly at each other, though this time wasn't as bad as usual. No - usually, violence was a casual, generic thing around here. Johnny never wanted anything more than to leave this prison. If he was more fortunate, he'd wheel himself down to his best friend, Ponyboy's, house. Sadly, however, he hasn't regained his strength well enough. Actually, it felt as if he didn't have any strength at all.

Not being able to walk while living in the East Side of the neighborhood was something awful to deal with, especially when every slinking hood was just itching to jump the most vulnerable person they happen to see. And if you're wheeling about in your little wheelchair, just minding your own business, then you're the first person who they seem to hear screaming out for them to hit you up. Hard. Johnny was scared enough before he was gravely injured. He felt like an ill-repaired doll, who was just waiting to snap in two any second. It was the worst feeling anybody would have to deal with.

Uselessness.

The rest of the gang tried their hardest to cheer Johnny up, though. They would stop by outside of his window, pry it open, and chat with the crippled kid for a bit while his negligent parents were away, or asleep, or whatever they decided to do. They believe that it was the least they could do. The kid was on his death bed before now, and it scared them. It scared all of them.

Johnny loved to have people to talk to, anyways. It always made him feel less alone, because he knew he was in for a lot of pain. Heck, this entire road, journey, whatever you want to call it, it's been a painful one. It hurt. Having a large flaming board of fire fall on you could never not be painful. And we all thought he'd already been through enough. Life has a funny way of treating the best of us.

Crashes resound through the otherwise quiet room. Johnny cringed, unable to stand the fact that all his folks could do was fight. At least they showed that they knew the other was there. All they could ever do for their son was pretend he wasn't even there. In fact, the only time he wasn't ignored is when he was being abused. This household held no familiarity, no happiness, nothing to Johnny.

It was just a building as empty as his resolve.

***

Hi guys! Surprise. I have published my first Outsiders fic. I have loved the Outsiders since the fifth grade, and trust me. That was a long time ago. Johnny Cade was my very first fictional crush, too! I was devastated when he died, so I wanted to continue the story with him alive! Besides - you can't take the cake.

Get it?! Cause... Johnnycake? And... ah, I give up.

Warning: the feels will be reals. This will be just a filler, and I would like to see some votes and comments before I publish the next chapter. Tell your family, friends, and pets! See y'all soon!