An Extra Pump of Sugar

Chapter 18

Around midnight, the party came to an end. Ed left for Truckee before the roads got too slick, and then Theo's friends slowly trickled out the door, laughing and passing jokes all the way to the parking lot. Charlie was the last to leave the apartment after Adora, who offered to drop the drunken student off at home. But before Theo's sister stepped foot on the doormat, she gave her brother one last hug and whispered, "Use protection," in his ear.

He shoved her off, and her snickers followed her out the door.

Theo and I stared at each other like two windup toys losing steam, readjusting to the silence, releasing our grip on a charade.

"Your friends were cool," I said after a few seconds.

He gave a soft huff of laughter and collapsed on the couch. "They're alright."

"They really care about you. It's sweet." From the moment I'd entered Theo's apartment, it was obvious they considered each other family. No one walked on eggshells in this group. There were no filters, no euphemisms, and yet they recognized and respected each other's boundaries.

"Support systems like that make everything else feel irrelevant," he admitted. "I could live anywhere on earth if they followed."

The pang in my chest struck again. What Theo described...it was exactly how I felt about Baker and Jay, but they both planned to leave me in a few months. By the end of summer, I was going to be stuck here in Reno without my support system, my backbone, my incentive to stay.

"They liked you," he said, pulling me out of my head. "For the record."

I squinted at him, failing to detect any dishonesty. "Really? 'Cus I'm pretty sure I gave off a weird and friendless vibe."

Adora in particular seemed unsure about my role in Theo's world, and I could tell she was protective of him. Not in a jealous, possessive kind of way, but more of a sisterly, don't-mess-with-my-bitch way.

"Well, you didn't. They thought you were funny. And authentic." He snorted at the skeptical look on my face. "Seriously. I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining why we're not dating. And don't even get me started on my dad. I don't know what he said to you in the kitchen, but I just hope he didn't propose to you on my behalf."

I laughed at that. "He came pretty close."

He threw his head back against the couch. "It's like none of them understand what it feels like to break up with someone you..." he trailed off, scrunching his nose. "It's only been two months. No one gets it."

I kicked off my shoes and slowly made my way over to the couch. "I may not relate to the pain you're going through, but your choice to swear off dating makes perfect sense to me." If I were him, I'd probably never date again. Learning to trust someone after a betrayal that large was beyond difficult. "I still think you should've played around with your Grindr account before you made Van delete it, though."

He let out a heavy breath, briefly glancing at my face, my eyes. "...You're okay with that, right?"

"Grindr?"

"Me finding guys attractive," he clarified. "Being bi."

I stopped directly in front of him. Then I bent at my hips and kissed him on the lips. "Why would that change anything?"

His lips lingered on mine for a few seconds before he withdrew. "It's just...a lot of girls think it's a turnoff. The ones who don't believe it's a phase think it makes a guy effeminate. Or they think we're sexually promiscuous and more likely to cheat on them with a man."

Pain lurked in the shadows of his face, and I had a feeling he'd endured one too many unsolicited opinions about his sexuality. "Well...I for one think it's an attractive quality, and I've never once felt like you weren't manly enough—whatever that means. Plus, after what you've been through, the last thing I'm worried about is you breaking our exclusivity clause." I swept his dark locks away from his brow. "If you do want to sleep with other people, just tell me."