Love and Lies • 𝑇𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑦 𝑆ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑏𝑦

Chapter Eighteen

After a chaotic confrontation with Billy Kimber and the Birmingham Boys, Tommy sat alone in the Garrison meeting room.

The pub telephone was set in front of him, looped through the small serving window, and he played with the card...Kaili had given him trying to get to a place where he was brave enough to dial the numbers.

Everyday he told himself over and over again that he'd get to it tomorrow, but the end of the month had come, with minutes left to spare, and there wouldn't be a tomorrow if he didn't pull himself together.

Even though he was uncertain about a lot of things, he knew never seeing her again wasn't what he wanted. So he finally forced himself to pick up the ear phone from its stand and recite the numbers on the card to the operator before the machine started ringing.

The sound resonated for seconds, that turned into a minute and an uncomfortable fear that he might be too late pressed against his chest. A fear that turned into a metallic panic that he tasted in his mouth, which only flushed clean when a soft voice spoke.

"Tommy?"

He breathed in sharply and leaned back against his chair despite the pain from his bandaged bullet wound on his shoulder. His relief battled with the ice stiff knot in his stomach that blew flames into his chest, and pulled at the screw that had quickly tightened with her absence.

The hundreds of times he'd pictured himself calling her did little to help him figure out what to say next. But that was all lost on him when he heard another voice - unknown and feminine - through the ear phone. "The cars waiting downstairs."

Then muffled indecipherable words followed - like...Liena had put her hand over the microphone. Tommy's eyebrows pulled together as he sat up straight, waiting.

"You can't leave." He started when the muffled sound cleared and silence followed.

"...Tommy...I thought this was what you wanted?"

He passed a slow hand over his face.

"You waited until the final minute to call." She continued, and her words rolled over him like a wave and crushed him until he couldn't breathe, until he knew the way out was by saying the words.

"I might not know who you are, but if there's any chance you are anything like the woman I've known...who I love...then you have to stay."

Ann drew a breath to speak, but then she stopped because she had to make things clear first. "There is no future where I stay, and we're both safe. It might not be tomorrow, but my past and its demons will eventually catch up to me, and it won't be pretty Tommy."

"But I love you too." She paused. "And you could come with me...I know never standing still, always hiding isn't what you imagined for yourself, but..." She trailed off and then breathed a sad laugh. "...Who am I kidding, there's no chance is there?" Thomas Shelby was a man built with ambitions that couldn't be achieved, living the life she'd proposed.

"This is my fault. If I had just been honest with myself the first morning at the manor, instead of living a life not meant for me, we wouldn't be here right now. And this wouldn't hurt so much." She said, but it sounded more like she was speaking to herself than to him. Nevertheless, the screw in his chest tightened back into place, unforgiving and permanent. She regretted him.

Knowing this, and still aching for one more kiss, and one final taste of her, made him feel sick.

Was there nothing she could do, nothing she could say that would make him not love her? Was this the life he was bound to live now?

Over the hurt, he knew she was right. It was bitterly funny how 'I love you' could be enough for any other two people in the world. It was supposed to be the beginning, but it only made them thirst for something they could never have.

"I can't say goodbye again Tommy." Her voice was tinted with tears. It made the hand around the telephone's ear piece tighten, and he soaked in a vision of her dark shinning eyes.

"Then don't," he said, and even though he moved to end their call, he couldn't actually make his body end the last remnants of their relationship, just like their first morning in the manor where he couldn't walk away from her. But the sting of her wishing she had walked away pushed him, and he slowly put the ear piece back on the stand.

This time when he leaned back against his chair, the silent aura of the office filled him with emptiness that made it impossible for him to register the pain in his shoulder.

***

This is the end of Part 1. Thank you to everyone who's read, and voted. I really appreciate it. Part 2 will be written when I come back from holiday in January.