Simon 'Ghost' Riley - The Spiders Web

16

When Tina got back to base, she had locked herself away in her room out of anger. She could feel the emotion building up in her chest like a balloon expanding and it was suffocating.

The very second she shut her door behind her, it was like someone had stuck it with a needle and it had burst inside her ribcage. She had crumbled.

A shaky exhale left her throat as she ripped her bloody, sticky gloves off, prising them from her shaking hands.

She covered her mouth with the back of her hand, closing her eyes as it became difficult to breathe.

She wasn't sure how she made it to her bathroom but she ripped all of her gear and clothes off and hopped in the shower, not even waiting for it to heat up a little, the temperature shocking her body into waking up from her haze.

Tina had scrubbed and scrubbed at her hands, getting that sick mans blood off of her skin until her scars were angry and irritated and sore. She picked the crimson from under her nails for an hour, sitting under the cold stream shaking and shivering and nearly unable to move. Eventually, she barely managed to crawl out from under the icy stream, turning it off, knowing if she got up she would land back on the floor with how her knees were quaking.

She just wrapped herself in her thick towel like a blanket and remained on the floor, clutching the fabric tightly. Not entirely sure how long she had sat there like that, her brain replaying that man's voice and seeing his eyes locking on hers. His face. It made her sick.

And she thought killing him would get rid of it all, the memories, the feelings, the sickness, but it didn't.

The only consolation she got was that he could never hurt another person like he had hurt her ever again. And that had to be enough. It had to.

If not, what did she have?

At one point someone had knocked on her door and she had ignored it, not caring about who it was or what it was for, not even if it was Captain Price.

At some point she did get herself up from the floor while using the sink as leverage, and slid on some joggers and a black vest. Her bare arms were freezing and she searched for a hoodie in a daze. But when she tried to put it on she became frustrated and just threw it at the wall, watching it fall into a heap on the floor.

Tina ran a hand through her damp hair and tied it in a low ponytail before leaving her room and heading down the hall. When she spotted Gaz's door she knocked on it.

When he opened it he was mildly surprised. She gave a weak smile before sliding past him through the narrow gap between his shoulder and the doorway.

"Yeah, okay, come on in!" He exclaimed, watching her make a beeline for his set of drawers. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Tina ignored him and pulled the first item out she saw, it being a grey hoodie about four sizes bigger than her own and she closed the drawer again after.

"I'm stealing this." Her voice was rough.

If he noticed the redness under her eyes he said nothing, and wisely.

He chuckled a little. "What?"

"Don't ask."

"Okay?" He put his hands up, confused. As soon as she had shown up she went to leave as though it was nothing. "What, that's it? No hello?"

She pulled on the large hoodie that swamped her frame, and the comfort was instant, warming her properly. She tucked her scarred hands beneath the overlapping sleeves and glanced at him from the side. "What more did you want, a happy ending?"

He nearly choked on his own spit as she walked by into the doorway. "Wait, wait-"
He tugged her back by grabbing the hood of the hoodie lightly, and she turned to look over her shoudler.

"Are you okay?"

She swallowed while avoiding his eyes. "Yeah, fine. Why?"

"Just asking. Didn't see you at dinner." His eyes scanned her face and she avoided his gaze, shrugging.

"Wasn't hungry. I'll have some later."

He pointed at her in warning. "There's a plate left out in the kitchen for you. If I find it still there by morning..."

She rose an eyebrow, tapping her finger on the doorway. "You'll what?" She tilted her head playfully. "Force feed me?"

"Yes. If I have to." He said seriously before smiling.

She smiled a little despite not feeling like it at all. "You'd have to catch me first, Gaz."

He tutted and pushed her lightly out the door. "Whatever, go back to your own room - and don't get any smart ideas, I'll be keeping inventory of the shit in my room from now on."

She looked back at him while walking backwards down the hall and mock saluted him.

Supposing she should try, Tina actually did head for the communal kitchen and found the plate left for her on the side. Perhaps it was to act as a distraction for her, perhaps it was because secretly she was really hungry, but she knew as soon as she looked down at the plate that she wouldn't enjoy it.

She picked up the plate and moved it to the other counter, grabbing a fork with her stiff fingers. Without her gloves, her scars were sore and aching, the cold seeping into her joints and making them stiff.

She forced some food into her mouth in an attempt to stop thinking about it. Her stomach seemed to reject it and she had to breathe deeply through her nose to keep each mouthful down. Having to stop halfway to grab some water in the hopes it would make things go down easier, she ended up bundling the sleeves over her hands in an attempt to ease the pain.

After twenty minutes barely half of her plate was gone - leaving her rubbing the space between her eyebrows tiredly and trying to hold back her frustration.

At some point she just gave up and chucked the rest into the trash, seeing as most of it was leftovers anyways. She just rolled her sleeves up to refill her water bottle and keep them dry.

On the way out, she was in such a tired daze that she nearly bumped into someone as they entered the kitchen.

"Fucking hell-" she glanced up and saw that familiar skull mask and immediately bit her tongue. "Sorry."

She moved swiftly around him, hoping to avoid him, and as she left he caught a glimpse of her heavily scarred hands and opened his mouth to call her name.

"Tina-"

But she was already gone, not able to hear him.

He stood there in silence on his own and sighed heavily.

When Tina got back to her room, she knew it was going to happen and went straight to the bathroom to vomit up what bit of food she had actually managed to eat. Brushing her teeth had never felt so good but she did so with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Wiping her stinging eyes, Tina just lay on her back on her small bed with a hand over her heart, focusing on the fast pace it drummed out until she could actually fall asleep and get some rest.