Losers In Love ❁ d.j.h

• chapter twelve •

A chin tilt here. A leg positioned there. Hips jutted forward. Eyes downcast, but not too low. A look at the camera as though you want it to fear you.

These were all directions Dinah Jane received at a morning time too close for comfort, but normal enough for the future of Lost Mechanism. Adjusting to the growing fan base and popularity of the band meant more. More publicity, more standards to be held to, and more appearances like this one; a photoshoot for Alternative Press.

A song by Paramore played faintly in the background as DJ observed Ivan's portion of the photoshoot. A pink star was drawn around his eye with makeup, contrasting his entire outfit. And pose wise, he held his hands like finger guns creating a camera around his eyes.

Dinah was finding it hard to see the vision in all this or how it fit into them being a rock band. But their new publicity team just kept reassuring them that this was good. Color was in, bright aesthetics caught the eye, this is what drew people.

So far, she just wanted to draw in fucking breakfast. She rolled her eyes and turned on her heel as her stomach grumbled on cue. It was so hard to focus on the big picture of events like these when she barely had time to get to her favorite parts like songwriting. Nowadays, everything was an interview, a sound check, a photo shoot, a press release. She missed when they were just a smaller band playing the intimate tours. Now, they were selling out across the country, show by show and it felt hard to breathe. First, Texas, then Oklahoma, New Mexico, Arizona, and now California.

Being here went against every fiber of her being and she didn't realize how much she felt sick over it until they crossed state lines.

She forced a heavy smile towards one of the makeup artists and leaned her hands on the vanity. She looked like the color blue puked all over her. The outfit wasn't bad really. There was blue eyeshadow pattered in circles around her eyes. Her blazer and slacks were royal blue to match. If it wasn't for the pasties underneath it, her chest would also be inches from being revealed.

This is what she wanted, right? To be a drummer, to make it big?

Now that she had it, it all just made her feel so goddamn reclusive.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She stood to her full height and ushered out the device to check the caller ID.

Holly.

Dinah breathed a sigh, her eyes flickering around the room until she could find the least busy corner. Which was maybe two feet between the lighting crew and someone in makeup.

"Yeah." She mumbled, sticking the phone tightly to her ear and upping the volume. If she was lucky, she'd be able to hear something that wasn't the photographer.

Holly seemed to be in a joking mood. "Wow, no excitement for your favorite aunt?"

"You're my only aunt."

"Which is why I'm the favorite! Why do you sound stressed, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just tired and hungry. We've been at this photoshoot for hours." DJ shifted, her blue heels rubbing uncomfortably near her toes.

"Yeah, fame hurts. But I heard it pays well."

"I wish. Why are you calling, did somebody die?"

"No." Holly responded, trying her best not to show her offense over the phone. "I'm calling because I'm your family and it's weird that I haven't heard from you in a few weeks. I wanted to check that everything is okay."

DJ sighed, turning to face the wall. "Yeah, I'm sorry. Everything is fine. I've just been busy. This tour is wiping me out, and I'm not sure how much longer my hand can take it."

"Did you convince them to let you stay in Ojai with me for a night? Maybe we can go to the doctor and take a look at it."

The blonde shook her head. "No, it's okay. I've been rubbing vitamin E oil on it and not using it if I don't have to. And I'm still using those compression gloves you sent me... I convinced Cliff to let me free for one night if I played along with all of these publicity stunts. I'll be there in two days. Are you still coming to my show?"

"Of course, I wouldn't miss it." Her aunt nodded. "I even got your new cousin, James, making signs. He still can't believe he's related to a rockstar now."

Dinah fought off a smile. "You gotta stop telling your new foster kids that."

"Why? It scores me brownie points. I, for one, think it makes them like me better. You're getting big, kid. I heard you sold out both California shows yesterday."

"Yeah." The blonde rubbed her face. "I still can't believe it. It's like every city we touch, we sell out. Before we even cross the state lines, there's a low ticket warning and then the day of, there's no more seats left. I don't know if I'm ready for this."

"You don't know if you're ready?" Holly scoffed. "Am I hearing this correctly? My niece, who's been working her ass off for the past four years, isn't ready to be a world famous drummer?"

"Holly."

"I'm serious. I know you're just a drummer, but you're making a difference. You're up on that stage with men, outshining them all. It's hard enough being a woman who likes that music, but to play it too? You're an inspiration to so many."

"How? I'm not the first to do it." The blonde mumbled at the ground.

"It doesn't matter. Because of you, I'm sure you won't be the last. All it takes is one person. And I know it's a lot of pressure but no one is stronger than you, Dinah Jane."

DJ began to open her mouth in rebuttal when there was a tap on her shoulder. She turned to see someone with a camera gesturing to the set. It was her turn to take pictures now. She held up her finger to ask for one moment with a soft nod.

"Thanks, Holly. I gotta go. I'll see you in a few days."

"Okay. Be safe, and take care of your hand. I love you."

"Love you too."

The blonde turned, handing her phone to one of the assistants nearby before awaiting the photographer's instruction. The phone call with her Aunt Holly was quick to fall from her mind once she fell into work mode. But she'd be sure to carry her words with her later when she was alone with ample time to think.

As she turned on her back and looked over her shoulder towards the camera, she let the worries fade for just one second. It wasn't enough to relieve the emotions in her chest. But it did soften her face enough for the first flash of a picture.

CLICK!