Careless Whisper

XII

TW: selfharm

Louis stands in his small room in London and looks thoughtfully at his moving boxes. He thinks about what to start with first and decides on his clothes. He puts them neatly in his closet. Just as he's done, he hears the door lock, it has to be his roommate, Liam. He takes a quick look in his mirror, wanting to look decent as best he can. He knows he's lost weight since the breakup and his cheekbones are sticking out sharply from his face, the nightmares have left dark shadows under his eyes, but still he just startles about himself. He turns away quickly, sighs and steps cautiously out of his room. Voices from the living room ring out to him and he tries to act as confident as possible when he sees him and two other people. Louis is only a shadow of himself, he is sad, his self-confidence is almost gone - because he wasn't enough for Harry. But it's a fresh start and he's trying to pull himself together. He walks towards the young man he assumes to be Liam with an outstretched hand.

"Hi, I'm Louis and you must be Liam?" he asks, trying to manage a real smile.

"Hey, yes exactly. Nice to meet you. This is my sister and this is my cousin. They just help me carry the moving boxes inside," Liam replies with a big grin.

Louis is immediately annoyed, he can't stand happy people very well at the moment. And he's so sorry that he's in this mood and that fellow human beings have to take the brunt of it, in the past he wouldn't have had a problem making friends with Liam directly.

"Okay yeah, if you need help just let me know...I'll be in my room if you're looking for me," he nods to all three and disappears back into his room.

Sighing, he begins to distract himself, not to think about the loss of his love again, and covers his bed, sets up the small desk and thinks about where to put his guitar. There is only one box left with books and CDs, he decides to clear them out later.

Sadly he goes to his window and watches the hustle and bustle of London. Lots of traffic, lots of people and a lot of longing for his old life in Manchester. He already misses Jay terribly. She drove straight back this morning after helping him move as she was on an afternoon shift. His whole world is shaking. All he has left is his dream of studying music. Otherwise his world is out of joy. It's nothing like it was. And of course his mind wanders back to Harry. What will he do? How will he be? But it's all nothing more that should interest him. He feels his lips starting to wobble again, tears welling up in his eyes, but he quickly swallows it back and instead goes out to where Liam is, whom he finds back in the living room, sitting amidst his moving boxes.

"What are you doing?" Louis asks softly. Liam doesn't seem to have heard him and looks up, startled.

"I'm trying to find my motivation to put all the boxes in my room."

"How about a beer instead? I already had some cold this morning," Louis asks without batting an eyelid. He really tries to be friendly, even if it's hard for him.

"That would be great! Would you give me a tour then?"

"Liam... you do realize this isn't a villa and there's not much to see?"

"It was just for fun. I can find my way," Liam replies quickly, seeming to notice Louis's mood. They both go into the kitchen and Louis pulls out a bottle for each.

They lean against the kitchenette and silently drink their beer. Louis notices how Liam looks at him and actually would like to have a bonding ritual over the beer, but he stares straight ahead, drinking many small sips in quick succession. The whole situation is making him nervous, what if Liam turns out to be the next big disappointment in his life?

"Who broke your heart and how long ago was it?" Liam finally asks after several minutes of silence. And Louis chokes on the beer he just took a sip from.