Traitor

Chapter 13

There weren't many places in the compound where Bucky could just exist, undisturbed. The remainder of the previous day had been spent in his room where he allowed himself to wallow in self pity.

While the space had been nice to have, Bucky knew he'd spiral into depression if he allowed himself to stay in his bedroom any longer. So, before the sun was up, he was out of bed and prepared to face the day head on.

For once, the kitchen was completely empty as he passed it. He hadn't been planning on eating anything yet but if he stopped by to make sure there was a pot of coffee brewing before anyone got up that morning, well that was no one's business... He was just being considerate of the team, after all.

Bucky was immediately hit with a pleasant breeze when he opened the door to the roof terrace. He could see the beginnings of the first few rays of sunshine, sighing contentedly, he all but threw himself into one of the sun chairs. A yelp startled him into getting back up only to see Clint groaning in pain and holding his arm.

"I cant seem to catch a break." Bucky huffed out a laugh, opting to sit on the chair next to him. "You and me both."

Clint and Bucky shared a look of silent understanding before falling into an easy silence.

It was only when the sun started to peak through the horizon that they began to speak. "We haven't really gotten to speak since you got here, Tony's been keeping you all to himself." Clint snorted, noting how Bucky's face fell. "What, trouble in paradise?" The joke fell flat.

Bucky shrugged, trying his hardest to seem indifferent. "Tony doesn't want to speak to me anymore."

"What?" Clint asked disbelievingly, turning his whole body to face Bucky. "Why?" He was defensive now, his best friend wouldn't alienate someone without a valid reason. "He just doesn't feel safe around me now after what happened." Upon Clint's look of horror, he insisted that it was fine.

"It's what I was expecting anyway, as long as he's safe its okay." Clint was looking at him as if he'd grown a second head. "Bucky, do you even remember anything that happened?"

"No, can't really remember much when I'm.." He trailed off.

It's a good thing that he couldn't remember, he would've had Tony's scared face (scared of him) burned into his mind for the rest of time— he was sure. He couldn't bear the mere thought of it. Clint laughed and if Bucky had any fight left in him he'd be offended.

"Tony's never been safer than he was with you that day, you quite literally growled at anyone who even got near him." If Clint hadn't looked as serious as he did, Bucky would've dismissed it as a joke.

"You cradled him in your arms and he didn't exactly seem to mind it... this doesn't make any sense." Clint shook his head, deep in thought.

"When did he tell you this?"
Bucky chuckled self deprecatingly.
"He didn't even want to see me, Steve told me yesterday." Clint's eyes narrowed at the name. "But you haven't spoken to Tony himself?" Bucky shook his head.
"But Steve wouldn't lie about that." Bucky said confidently.

Clint grimaced, looking off into the sunrise. "Look, I don't know what Steve used to be like back in the 40's or anything." He started, hesitant to speak his mind.
"But for some time now, he's just been different. I can't place when it started but one day he wasn't himself and he's been this way ever since."
Bucky held his breath, needing to hear more. "I think you feel it too, you guys haven't exactly been the best of pals since he found you."

Bucky lamented the old friendship that they hadn't been able to rekindle. Clint was right, Steve wasn't the same man. Anytime Bucky tried to bond with him he was left feeling as though he were talking to a complete stranger. Bucky had been convinced that it was because of him, he wasn't the same person he was before going under. Now that Clint had said that, however, he knew there was something else going on.