Traitor

Chapter 17

James Barnes considered himself a very suave and charming man. Wherever Seargent Barnes went a flock of pretty gals followed, hoping to be on his arm for the night. He'd always found it easy, sweet talking his way into anything he wanted. Dating was not uncharted territory for him in the slightest. So why was it that he had been fumbling like an inexperienced fool at Tony's door for the past few minutes?

As much as he tried to talk himself into knocking on his door, his feet remained planted on the ground. He felt awkward in the suit he was wearing as he gripped a bouquet of tulips so hard that he feared they'd turn to mulch before getting to Tony.

He contemplated why this was happening to him. If all those years of promiscuity ultimately served as nothing now that it actually mattered, what had been the point? Perhaps that was the problem after all, that he hadn't cared about any of those women then. It had all been in good fun but this, this Bucky wanted to treasure forever. He didn't know what to do with himself.

He had decades of dating experience to catch up on. Truly, how was he expected to simply function in society after years of being unable to socialize at all. Bucky swallowed hard when he remembered the only form ot socialization he was allowed to have.

He shook the dark thoughts away, instead focusing on evening his breaths. Bucky would much rather be faced with an army of angry aliens than that damned wooden door. He ran his hand over his hair that had been pulled back for the night. Finally, after the umpteenth deep breath, he gave three sold knocks.

All he could do after that was wait for what felt like an agonizingly long time. He listened for any movement on the other side and nearly ran once he heard footsteps approaching. When the door swung open he had to stop his mind from spinning itself into a frenzy. Bucky was so used to the unconcealed version of Tony who worked himself ragged in sweats and a tank top that the sight of Tony in a perfectly sleek suit had him reeling.

Tony took one long look at him and unexpectedly huffed out a laugh. Bucky would've been offended if he weren't so mortified.
"Sorry, it's just— I thought you were joking when you said you'd pick me up." Bucky smiled along weakly, much more at ease. "What kind of date would I be if I didn't?"

He held out the tulips in his hand. "These are for you."

Tony paused when he saw the beautiful assortment of flowers before meeting Bucky's eyes again. "Tulips?" He asked shakily.
"You mentioned once that you'd pick them out with your mom as a kid." Bucky said uncertainly, scratching the back of his neck as he doubted his choice all over again. Of course Tony wouldn't want to be reminded of his mother tonight of all nights, what was he thinking?.. The noise in his head promptly died down as Tony carefully took the bouquet. "You remembered that." Tony breathed in disbelief.

Bucky's reply was lost in his throat when Tony beamed up at him as though he'd just hung the moon. To think he was allowed such a sight simply because he'd made a nice gesture had him feeling both grateful and sad that Tony's expectations were so low. "Thank you, James. Let me put these away, c'mon in."

Bucky nodded, trying to keep his composure despite his racing heart. He'd never been in the penthouse before, namely because he didn't want to be confronted with the evidence that Steve very much lived there as well.

When he stepped in, however, he was immediately aware of the little bits and pieces of Tony everywhere. He was all around them. He was in the discarded blueprints and notebooks on the couch that he most likely had been working on before inevitably falling asleep, the very burnt frying pan on the kitchen counter because Tony may be capable of so much— but he cannot cook, the bag of candied almonds he loved so much that had been left out on the kitchen counter, the big portrait of Iron man smack in the middle of the living room for everyone to see— it was all Tony. It felt as tough no one else lived here at all.