Pahimakas

IV

To my greatest love,

It's been four years; your sister died, and she's now in the hands of our creator. She's free already; she isn't struggling from the pain she had to bear. Her final wish for me is to be with you. She wants me to be happy with you. Yet, I don't know where to find you. Every day I am praying to God that He will let us cross paths again. Every day, I went to the same place where it all started, waiting for you, but there were no traces of Damaris Fiore. Maybe it's time for me to continue living, but I won't stop finding you.

Araw-araw pa rin kitang babalikan doon at maghihintay sa'yo.

Love, by the way I already take the board exam and guess what. I am finally an engineer. Even if we didn't take the board exam together, or nor reach our dreams together. But nothing makes me happier than feeling that we have both reached our dreams that we thought were impossible. I also realized that even if I'll continue to be an engineer, I can still be a photographer. I am one of the topnotchers, love. All thanks and praise be to God, because I would not have reached this point without His help.

- Colin

***

First Day

It's her birthmonth but why do we need to experience this? Kailangan ba talaga naming magparaya para sa iba? Why this woman I love is so selfless, can she be selfish even just for once?

"Aris," I called her.

It's our first day here in Baguio and all we did was just pure gossiping. Talking about life.

"Hmm?"

"Ganda mo," sabi ko, narinig ko siyang mahinang natawa.

I didn't realize that her laughter will be my kind of serotonin.

"Alam ko." Tsaka siya tumayo at pinakiramdaman ang hangin at umikot ikot siya.

"This feels like, freedom. Thank you, Lord. You let me experience this. With you I am free, Lord," she mumbled.

How can I unloved this woman? Guess, I really can't.

She's too pure, too brave, selfless, independent and all. Too beautiful not to be admired and love. Naglakad siya pabalik sa loob at pagbalik niya dito sa labas ay dala-dala na niya ang mga libro niya.

"Ayan, magbasa tayo mamaya. Pero sa ngayon nag kwentuhan muna tayo." Tsaka niya inilapag ang mga librong dala niya at umupo sa tabi ko.

"Colin, may kwento ako," Sambit niya.

"I'm listening," I answered.

"Alam mo ba na napaka iyakin ko dati?" Natatawang saad niya, tumango ako sa sinabi niya.

"Halata naman, hanggang ngayon nga, e," sambit ko. Ngumuso siya sa aking pag sang-ayon. Kaya ngumisi ako at ginulo ang buhok niya. "Ganda mo talaga 'pag napipikon."

"Araw-araw naman akong maganda, and please stop ruining ny hair, Tongco," she retorted.

"Of course, you are," Pagsang-ayon ko. She stunned for a second, facts only. I look at her like she's the rarest gemstone that I had seen in my entire life. A beautiful creation of God.

"As I grow older, I learned not to cry easily. I learned to be brave but still afraid of speaking up, my confidence sucks you know. I rather want to have my own pace and be with the people I am closed with. I am not a social butterfly like others but observing my surroundings is my hobby. My elementary classmates bullied me because I am my father's products of infidelity. Pinapalabas ko sa kabilang tenga ko ang mga sinasabi nila. Hindi ko pinatulan ang mga sinabi nila, pero huwag nilang hintayin na maupos ako. Hindi niya iyon magugustuhan.