Pahimakas

VI

To my greatest love,

Love, our Calise Alora she's a beautiful young lady now. Aris, bakit gano'n? Nagpatuloy pa rin ako sa paghahanap sa'yo pero bakit ayaw akong payagan ng tadhana na muli kang makita? Hindi na ba talaga pwede? Hanggang dito nalang ba talaga? Aris gusto kong gawin ang pinangako ko sa kapatid mo. Ayaw kong sumuko sa paghahanap sa'yo. Pero habang patagal nang patagal, mahal, nawawalan ako ng pag-asa na muli kang makita.

I hope one day, when we meet again . . . you still feel the same way I do.

- Colin

***

Fifth Day

I saw Aris staring at the balcony. I went to her and sat next to her. She immediately diverted her gaze to me when she felt my presence.

She smiled.

"So anong magandang gawin ngayong araw?" She questioned me.

I shrugged my shoulder.

She lightly chuckled upon my answer.

"Let's talk about our family then," she suggested.

Tumango ako bilang tugon.

"You go first, Tongco," she murmured.

Sinandal ko ang katawan ko sa upuan habang iniisip ang mga alaala na kasama ang pamilya ko.

"What do you want to know, Lopez?" I asked her.

She touched her chin, when I asked her. She was deep in thought. I couldn't help myself from smiling.

"Your favorite memories with your family," she said.

Now it's me who's in deep thought. Reminiscing my memories together with my family. I beamed upon remembering it.

"Noong namasyal kami dahil hindi tumigil sa pag-iyak si Shairah. Kumpleto kami no'n, masaya at tila walang problema. That moment I can see how genuine my mom's smile when she saw how happy we were that time. I can still hear the laughters we did that moment. Ate Steph crack jokes, Shairah's tantrums and me not minding my surroundings.

"As I grow older, I distance myself to my parents. Sa'min na tatlo ako kasi iyong hindi kasing talino at ka talentado ng mga kapatid ko. Being a middle child suck. I take engineering because they want me to."

I saw how stiffen she is about the truth.

"Hindi ka pa matalino sa lagay na 'yan?" Hindi makapaniwalang tanong niya. "Nakaya mo nga'ng maging dean lister at nangunguna sa section natin."

"Hmm," I mumbled. "If you compare my intelligence and talent to my siblings, you can say that I am out of their league. They can always recognize my sibling's achievement. While here I am, being left alone." I can hear the bitterness in my voice.

"You're different to them because you're unique, Tongco," she looked at me. "You may not be as talented and intelligent like them but being yourself is enough. You are being a good photographer and student at the same time. You're striving for your dreams being an engineer and photographer at the same time. It's good enough."

Hindi ako nakapagsalita sa sinabi niya.

This woman really knew how to shut my whole system.

"Hindi ka man kasing talino nang ate mo, pero matalino ka pa rin. Hindi ka man kasing talentado nang kapatid mo. Pero may talento ka. You acquired both of the intellect and talent that your siblings had, Tongco. That's what make you different and unique to them."