𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 ; 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐰 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥

˗ˏˋ matthew 'ˎ˗

noa had a hard time holding eye contact. i had begun to notice that every time i would look at her, whether i was answering a question or asking her one, her eyes would wander off. she'd look to the side of me, up at the ceiling, at my sweatshirt... but never at me.

i used to do the same thing. that was, until i started interviewing for jobs and realizing that people actually do pay attention to your mannerisms, and that eye contact can say a lot about a person and how they're feeling.

noa seemed nervous.

we're walking to the parking lot, and i'm talking to her about my family. i figured it would be a topic where i could actually carry on the conversation. my brothers gave me plenty of things to talk about.

"nicks the oldest," i start. "but only by a few seconds. then it's me, then it's chris." i click the unlock button on my car keys, gesturing to the black sedan that was parked a few feet in front of us.

"how did your mom tell you all apart?" noa asked, putting her suitcase and her backpack in the truck of the car. my stuff was in there as well, along with a bag full of brianna's things.

despite my anger towards her, i didn't know if she'd need a few extra shirts, a couple of her favorite books, or some of her hair products. i figured once i saw her, once we talked, i'd be able to get her to come back with me, and at least i'd have some of her things if she forgot them.

"my mom would paint our toe nails," i respond. "plus, chris has a birthmark on his back. and nick had a giant head," i chuckle. she smiled, opening the door to the passengers seat.

"i don't have any siblings," noa says. "but when kit and i started dating, i became close with his sister. she's only a year or so younger than me. we'd do all things that i thought sisters did. shopping and gossiping. things like that."

"if you like shopping and gossip, you'd get along great with nick." i start the car, backing out of the spot.

"do your brothers live in boston too?" she asks. i nod, merging into the highway.

"yes. we see each other often, just harder when we're all working different jobs and hours. it's way different than when we were growing up, you know?"

"yeah, i'm sure."

there was a few moments of silence between us, only the sound of the radio and highway noise filling our ears.

noa was pretty. she had dark hair, dark eyes. her skin was tan, freckles lining her cheeks and splotched across her arms. her lips a dark pink, a dimple on her right cheek. she was the type of girl i would've chased after in high school. she had a comforting energy to her. an inviting presence that made me feel at ease, despite the situation. it was nice to finally put a face to the girl across the phone.

i began wondering why kit cheated. i always wondered what lead people to cheat. was it something about their partner? was the person they had right in front of them not enough? noa seemed like a great girl. maybe i was getting ahead of myself. kit knew her for years. i've known her for days online, minutes in person.

but i wondered the same thing about brianna. what about me was not enough?

did i not surprise her enough? did my anxiety get too much for her to handle? was i boring? it has to be something about me. and it's killing me to not know what it is.