acceptance.

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when you died, i realized that nothing in this world could hurt me more than this. i tried blocking out everything. hiding every piece of evidence that it ever happened. and it worked. well, it did until now. i guess sometimes your heart just needs a little more time to accept what your mind already knows. i couldn't accept the fact that i had to kill you. the only person who ever accepted me for who i am. the one person who let me in and cared for me. i miss you so so much. i wish i could go back in time to that day. if i had only fixed that lose fence, this would have never happened. you'd still be here. i wish you never got bit and this disease never started. i'm so sorry i couldn't save you. i would give up anything in this world to be with you again. to be able to hold you one last time. to be able to watch a sunset with you. i'm running out of time. i don't want to turn into one of those things. i won't. i'll end it before it happens.

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