Sophomore year

The Cutting Edge

My mom finally pulls up in the car and I am so relived I can't believe the way Zayn was acting. My mom gives me a worried look, I couldn't even look her in the eye...i'm just a coward.Nothing more but a waste of space. Nothing can make me feel any smaller of a person right now... what have I done to me life I thought I was going to be happy and with someone who really loved me. Zayn just wants an item he can have full control over, and right now that item is me. How could he have been so slick and charming that I misjudged that much. It no longer matters because I am now stuck and who knows for how long this hell will keep me captive here.

We dropped Zayn off at his house across town and I faked a passionate goodbye, which wasn't even a challenge for me anymore. On the drive home my mom was questioning what was going on with the two of us and I said nothing. I asked her about how my dad was doing because he wasn't with us...again but this time just wait he was in jail. Awesome way to role model your children father. I have one headphone in listening to my mix of boy bands and country music. Which when I was with Zayn or my mother was my only escape....

"Mack what is your deal lately? Your so quite and distant which isn't like you at all." she asks me

"Nothing just trying to focus on school and getting onto varsity that's all." i answer honestly because that is what I really want

We get to the house and I hardly say two words to anyone I got straight into the bathroom and play my music as loud as it will go. I sit on the bath tub and feel totally alone, nothing can change the way I feel about my life, how I wish Harry was here, how I wasn't ready to be without him and how I am depressed and totally dead inside. I get my favorite razor out of my hiding place and slice away... slice the horrible day, the comments, this fights..but mostly.. the hurt. After my tears dry to me face I start a nice warm shower to drift myself into another world where I can be with Harry and just forget it all

*Flashback*

 Harry and I have been emailing all weekend and I never want it to stop I mean all the things he saying to me is all I've every wanted. He wanted to go to the mall tomorrow and hang out with my cousins and I. I quickly asked my mom if it was okay and once I got the okay I told Harry that we'd be there at 11 am as soon as the mall opened. He was so happy and excited and so was I, I had to finish talking to him for the night but I'd see him in the morning. We promised to meet in the bookstore then said our i love yous and goodbyes.

The night went by as slow as can be and I couldn't figure out what I should l wear. I forced my eyes shut in the hopes I'd sleep but I just couldn't I was way to excited. So once the sun did finally came up and the morning went by we ended up at the mall, i told my mom thank you for letting me go. I pretty much run inside and see Harry standing right inside the bookstore. I run into his arms so happy and excited.

"Harry!!!!" I yell

"Mack!!!" he yells back.

He pulls my to the second floor of the bookstore so we could be alone to talk for awhile. I didn't fight him we hadn't been alone in so long. He found a place where we could sit and talk by an open window. He pulled my hand and wanted me to sit on his lap.

"Harry I can't I'm huge I'll crush you." I say shyly

"Shut up you will not." he pulls me on his lap anyway

"I missed you a ton." I hug and kiss his neck

"I missed you too, you have no clue."

"I don't want to go to high school without you. When will I ever see you?"

"We will make it work Mackenzie." He placed a nice sweet kiss on my lips.

*Present*

The memory burns my heart to almost nothing now, I miss him so much what I would do to see him again is limitless nothing would stop me at all to be with him one last time.