Sophomore year

Lost

Part 2:

                Gross, smelly, dry, old school food. I am stuck looking at my dried up chicken wings sitting in front of me, as Zayn goes on and on about his day. When did my life come to this? How is the world was this how it ended up. How could it be this way? Me, in the passenger seat of my own life... I guess that was my fault though because I still hadn't told anyone what really goes on with Zayn behind closed doors.

"Mackenzie?" he pulls me from my deep line of questioning.

"What?" I jump

"Where have you been all morning your so out of it."

"I...I'm sorry just long day ready to go home." I lie

"Told you that you wouldn't miss this place for long."

                He stands the throw his try and takes mine as well. He didn't even ask if I was done... I guess no one asks anymore. The rest of the day seems to fly and nothing interesting happens in any of my classes so I just stay quiet for most of the day. However for most of the day I think about Harry... I see him differently now. I still love him deeply of course but something has changed... he left me when I needed him most. He had never even tried to explain why... just every time I saw him our eyes would met but part all too quickly.

                I'm starting to see him in everyone now, his smile, his hair, his face, mostly his eyes...the softness in them. The warmth in his whole body that would fit perfectly around me. I remember the last day we were at school together...

*Flashback*

"Harry." I start to cry again.

                This was it...I was finished with 8th grade and ready to go off to high school without him. He was a year younger so we had no choice. We had avoided it for some time now and here today was without warning.

"Baby please no more tears I can't bare to see you like this."

"But this is the last time I'll see you... and... and things could happen for you and someone else while I'm gone. Harry you can't go to someone else..."

                He roughly pressed his lips to mine and pulled me close. I tried to take him in as much as I could because I didn't know when I would have this moment again. I wrapped my arms around his neck and his moved down to my waist. I loved him I loved this, these moments that seemed so small be so strong and open to where I didn't even have to think about anything else but how much I loved him.

"Okay you two enough eating each other's faces. Let me take a picture!"  My "best friend" yelled at us

                She was my "Best friend" because we had been friends before I even thought about being with Harry. However that all changed when she started to make up lies about how Harry cheated on me with her. She was always seeking attention, I couldn't stand her.

"Come here baby."

                Harry picked me up and sat me on his lap. I couldn't help but laugh at myself because I always freaked out about it. Harry was very built and strong but I never took him for the type of guy to be able to throw me over his shoulder. With small tears flowing from my eyes we took picture after picture looking into each other's eye not caring about anything else. I needed this time with him because I never knew when I'd see him again.

*Present*

                I walk into the gym for volleyball and see the girls setting up the nets. I jump in excitement and run over to my friend Rikki. She was getting on her shoes and looked up at me.

"Hey," I start as she stands up next to me.

"How was your first day back?" she jumps in.

"Fine I guess." I totally lie

"Mine was okay. Happy to be back in the gym."

"We were in here like two days ago for conditioning." I joke

                My coach made it to were two weeks before school started was all conditioning because she wanted u in shape for the season. I could feel that this one was going to go great I just wanted to play already.

"Where is Roses?" I question

"She's not playing this year."

"What?? WHY!?!"

"She really didn't say." Rikki said as we start to walk over to go get a ball.

                I was totally heartbroken that my best friend wasn't playing but I could understand something's aren't for everyone and also that things get in the way. As practice goes on we start to work harder and harder and I can feel myself start to get tired because how long this day was lasting. After practice I made my way outside to sit and wait for my mom. Zayn was walking out the same time I was because he had just got out of soccer practice. I was taken by surprise by the way he was acting.

"What are you doing?" he asked

"Siting here what does it look like I'm doing?" I snap back at him

"You better knock that shit off Mackenzie you've been a real bitch lately."

                I just stay quite but I know deep down I should slap him across the face for him calling me that. And in my defense he would be bitchy too if he has to put up with what I do. I just stay quiet and look through my phone. He starts to listen to music, the I being to question why he is still here. Is he not going to take the bus? Am I taking him home?

"Zayn?"

"What?" he snaps

"Am I taking you home?"

"Why do you think I'm still here? God Mack you need to use your head."

"Stop talking to me like that." I snap kind of loudly.  

"I can talk to you however I want Mackenzie!"

"No you can't you better get your head out of your ass or else I'm done!" I stand up and start to walk away.

                As I feel myself being freed from him he pulls me back with all his strength and grips my arm tightly. I try to break free but nothing helps he just grips tighter and tighter. I want to yell out a cry but I know if I do he'll just play it off like nothing. I can't stand to live this way anymore, being with someone who doesn't give two shits about me isn't a real relationship.

Thankfully my mom pulls up and I fake a smile now I get to live even a faker life at home... why did things have to come to this. We hate each other, I can't even stand to look at him and he sure as hell doesn't want to be around me. Why can't we just break up already...I feel like he's keeping me here because he knows I want to leave, the sad part is I'm becoming numb. Sophomore year is not going to be any different. Bring it on...