𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞

14.

Fat, bitch, weak, whore, dumb, all the names that already called and demoted me were ringing like an echo in my head.

Victor, Edward, Nicola, my father.

The four of them shouted these words inside my head, my mother's voice also appeared mixed with the others. 

As if I were a third person in my life, I could see Victor insulting and beating me in the cold cell I spent hours in. My body wrapped in the fetal position in my warm pajamas.

Edward was ripping my wine purple from my unconscious body lying on the stairs floor.

Nicola was watching and laughing. 

He turned his back to abandon me at the event with a smile on his face and I yelled for him. 

I yelled expecting that he wouldn't leave me.

I knew he was the devil on earth, that he was the worst person in the world but I didn't believe he could leave me to be raped.

"You're weak" his voice echoed over and over in my head.

The words that hurt me the most in my short life were from my parents, from those who were supposed to protect and take care of me.

My dad walks into the house with an empty wine bottle in one hand and a shotgun in the other hand "Oh, hello" he says when he sees me in my little me in my minnie pajamas with my gun in my hand "Look if this isn't the biggest regret of my life " he said cocking his head.

"But dad, I stayed here all night, guarding the house like you asked me to" I said with tears streaming down my cheeks. Oh this day.

"Liar! You are nothing but a weak person!" he said throwing the alcohol bottle to the floor and pointing the gun at little Serena "Go to the firewood annex"

"But Dad, it's dark and there are spiders and-"

"Go!" he bellowed and a shot was heard. At first I thought someone was in the house, that someone had put an end to my suffering and put a bullet in my father. 

But then, I started to feel the pain between my ribs, a pain I've never felt before, a horrible pain, an explosion in my organs, an internal burning.

My eyes open after my screams come out, my body was sweaty and clammy, glued to the bed.

"Oh fuck" I said. I dreamed again of my father shooting at me and I dreamed for the first time of the traumas that this contract is giving me.

"What happened?" someone asked, someone who was in my dark room. 

Oh no, no, no. My breathing starts to get worse.

It's my father. He's here. 

"Dad?" I asked afraid that a "yes" come in response from who is inside. 

"Add a dy and I will answer by that name" the figure left where it was, approaching my bed and turning on the lamp next to it. 

The terrible dream and the events that left my body aching, made my brain slow to remember where I was and that it was impossible for him to discover me.

"Nicola, please get out of my room" I said. 

His eyes focused on my body and when I look down at myself, in addition to being covered in sweat, I was dressed only in my black lace panties and a white tank top loose enough to almost show my nipple and short enough that showed my belly piercing and the tattoo that covered the scar of this fucking nightmare.