A wealthy Bri'ish Primark employee, Patrick Bateman, hides the fact that he is a half-bagel from his co-workers and friends as he delves deeper into his lovely fantasies for Y/N L/N. It's the early 2020s.
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I wake up in my mums house, next to a pack of the ASDA cheese that caused Y/N to leave me... I pick it up with a firm hand and I scran it in one bite, because of course I can!
Jean Jaffa Cakes walks into my room and gives me a slightly worried face, what's wrong with her? Did she also get banned from Evelyn's house because Evelyn is sooooo soft that no one can be competitive at monopoly?? Anyways... so I ask what's up with her and she's like "Well.. Mr Blobby's on the phone..." my face immediately becomes red like a M&S red tomato on sale because it's out of date. NOT MR BLOBBY!! I HATE MR BLOBBY!!! FUCK MR BLOBBY!-!!
"Hello Mr Blobby how are you mate? 😊" I say over the phone, trying to sound as NICE.. as possible!! He is my stepdad after all..
"Hello stepson so basically me and ur mum broke up 😜" Mr Blobby laughs, "I'm now dating ur ex Y/N L/N!!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHH"
Wow that evil laugh was really good...- ANYWAYS !!! HES DATING Y/N?!!?!!??!!
"HOW VERY DARE YOU!!! THIS IS DESPICABLE!!!!!!! I LOVED Y/N FOR A WHOLE DAY AND YOU DO THIS TO ME?!!! HOW DO YOU THINK THIS WILL AFFECT BIGGIE RECTIONS??!!!!" I yell over the phone.. then I suddenly go silent.. "Watch out bitch.. I'm coming for you 😈🐺"
I hang up the phone and prepare.... 😈
I grab my chainsaw and axe... and I go in my Mini... and I speed off into the sunset 🌅 😈
At mr blobby's house
"Oh y/n I love you so much" Mr Blobby says wrapping his arm around y/n.
"Omg I love you too 😳😳" Y/N replies blushing.
Suddenly... THE DOOR BUSTS DOWN REVEALING PATRICK BATEMAN WITH A CHAINSAW!!!!
"AHHHHHH!!!!" Mr blobby screams.
He suddenly puts down the chainsaw, "So... if u want this chainsaw .. you have to break up with y/n"
Mr blobby smirks and says, "oooh I love a good chainsaw.. ok y/n we're breaking up"
"Ok" y/n says "patty watty I love you ❤️"
"OMG I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!" I softly whisper.
We then share a passionate kiss in the living room, birds flying around us.. but among the birds flew... Howl Jenkins Pendragon??!!!!!!!
