Just Survive

Chapter Four

- Ashley Gray -

"I'd like to say a few words..."

I take a few steps forward, my feet kicking up the mud as I drag my feet in despair. I sigh, seeing the holes in the ground, bodies lying inside. Some of our group laying inside, gone. Their eyes will never see the sun, the sky or the darkness again. A part of me longs for that, a part of me dreads it. I hope they've found peace, that's all you can wish for.

"I haven't been in this group long, but, in the few weeks that I've been here, you have taken care of me, fed me and protected me." I pause my speech to take a long glance at Cody who stares at the floor. "I'd like to thank you for that and I wish I got the chance to thank them before what happened.

The eye's of the group crush me with judgement, so I decide that's enough from me and I walk away before I become a cube of trash. I feel the eye's of the group within the graves peer up at me too, pushing me away and pulling me in at the same time. I'm unable to shake the thought that I should've left long ago so I didn't have to see their pale faces disappear under the earth.

"Thank you, Ash." Alex gives a small smile to me. I nod and stop, standing by Megan and Eloise who also send me saddened smiles.

Thanks, everyone, Alex says and with that everyone disperses except Alex, Craig and I. Once everyone is out of sight, the three of us grab shovels and begin to cover the bodies, filling their graves.

"Ashley, you don't have to." Craig sighs, placing his strong, sun-kissed hand upon mine.

I shake my head in disagreement, if I'm going to be part of this group, I've got to pay my way even if digging graves is my way of doing so. Not only do I have to do my part for the group, but I also can't stand the sight of the bodies, lifeless in their make-shift coffins. I need the vision of their glaring eyes erased from my mind.

I pull away from Craig and start filling the grave with dirt. With every shovel of tumbling dirt, the bodies remind me of why I wanted to leave in the first place. Granted, I didn't know these group members all too well but the burying of what I should now consider as my group is still hard. I dread the day I'll have to bury any more of us.

The dirt blows into my damp eyes as I lift my shovel. I pull away, wiping at my eyes with the back of my hand. I clear my throat, ignoring the beady eyes of Alex and Craig. I continue to dig despite the eyes, the breeze of dirt and the unbearable heat.

I continue to get lost in my thoughts, avoiding the pressure of right now to indulge in the pressure of what might happen in the approaching future. If one horde can find us, that means others can too. It's never just a fluke and I don't want to risk waking up to corpses in my bed. I have enough skeletons in my closet.

"We need to leave here, Alex," I speak, shattering the silence.

Alex looks at me with a frown, asking, "and go where?"

"I don't know. Just anywhere but here. After last night, we can't risk staying here. The corpses are making their way out from the cit-" I start but can't finish.

"He said no." Craig raises his voice, cutting me off.

"Craig," Alex warns, keeping his voice calm, however. "Maybe you're right, Ash. But still, there is nowhere for us to go. Everything is gone."

"You don't know that.." I plead; we can't stay here. It's not safe. "There has to be some sort of place, even an army base. Something has to exist." I carry on suggesting. Because I'm not staying here, waiting until tomorrow when we might have to bury even more people.

"Hey," Alex scolds and shakes his head at me but he can't bring himself to deny my comment.

I shrug, unsure of how else to react when I can't help but stick to my guns. I don't care for these people like Alex does, or like Craig does, or even like Cody. My safety comes first and if I have to leave on my own, I'll find a way to get past Cody - even after last night.