Just Survive

Chapter Seventeen

- Ashley Gray -

There isn't much hope left in the world any more and with every person that gets torn away from us, whether physically or mentally, the more it is that our hope dwindles and dissolves in a fizz of heavy, dislocated and dangerous emotions. What are we to do? We can't cry out and curse up at the sky because this world doesn't have time for sulking. If you waste your time, you take being alive for granted and then it's all over - deceased, gone and buried with the rest. This new world is ruthless, especially to those who brood. Plus, what would be the use of it? There can't be anything out there because that force - whatever there may be out there - would have to take responsibility for allowing a virus to wipe out the human race, ruining the lives of so many people and ripping their families away from them. I struggle to believe in something so treacherous, so heartless, so evil.

False hopes and beliefs were all that kept us going in the beginning but now, there's nothing. The good departed and it left the evil, the demons and the villains to tear apart the earth like ravaging animals. And there is absolutely nothing we can do about it, except fight. We just survive. So, yeah, there isn't much hope left but we keep moving nonetheless.

The sun shines bright like the conspicuous star that it is, growing warmer with each day. Even though the world around us and the earth that the ball of furious fire orbits is completely cadaverous and vastly vacant, the sun lives on.

The dead rule the planet and those who are alive wish they weren't so monstrous and haunted by the deaths that follow them - those who are alive wish they weren't.

We fear, or should I say feared the death of anyone, let alone a loved one and now it's like second nature. Though the grief still hurts and it's still like the world is caving in even faster, I'm convinced that it was inevitable. Losing someone was always going to happen, we just hoped throughout our lifetime that it wouldn't be so gruesome. And even after all of the warnings and the futile preparation, soon we might be losing another and it's still as painful as the first.

Cody and I stick to our allocated position of protecting the rear of the group while Megan and Charlie are the bodyguards of the front. Jack stays by Craig's side at all times with Eloise and Jamie acting like his bouncers.

Everyone has their weapon of choice in their hands in preparation for not only corpses but now humans. You can't trust anyone any more. We knew that before, we know all too well now. Our faith in humanity is diminishing day by day, almost as quickly as our faith in a cure, our faith in hope.

No one has been sleeping well, not that we did anyway. We take turns in keeping watch of a night, however, Cody and I have been taking the most time away from nightmare consumed sleep, becoming eagle-eyed protectors. We used the time to talk. I opened up to him about my fear of Wayne and the imprint of terror and hatred he left in my mind. He'd tell me about his fears of not being able to protect the group from the unavoidable dangers. I could always sense that he was leaving something out though - he wasn't telling me something. I would never push too far though.

I don't know how sane I would be if I didn't have his shoulder to lay on as he wrapped an arm around me at the end of the day when everyone else tossed and turned in an attempt to sleep. Our eyes would ache and our feet would be numb by the morning but we knew it would be better than the constantly interrupted sleep.

Alex has been pulling his hair out in stress, the pressure of leading a group of hopeless people taking an undoubted toll on him. He is trying his best to keep us motivated but with every step and with every shooting pain Craig has in his gnawed arm, the group become more and more defeated. One injured arm was enough, now me and Craig make two.

We can't escape bad luck. Someone is always hurt and now, everyone is hurt and drained mentally. Not to mention the physical demand that has left everyone exhausted as we walk for miles without finding any relief or reward.