My 3 Bully Alphas

Thursday

I wake up at 3:30 am with all the work I was suppose to look over all over my bed. I gather all of it together and put it on my side table. I don't have to be at the school until after lunch time so I plan to go over the work the class is going to do today after I shower. I put my clothes on the bed some pink leggings and a pink long sleeve shirt. I don't really need a bra like I said I probably got size A breast right now. Yeah, small. Ha, ha, ha! I just bring some lacey pink silky tongs into the bathroom. I bring my phone and my Bluetooth speaker inside the bathroom. I turn the water on hot. I love the water real hot, crazy how my body can stand the hot water. Plus, it feels good over the bruises. I go to my playlist of songs and find "Lift me Up" by Rihanna. I push play and strip my clothes off. I hop into the shower and begin to sing.

Mm, mm
Mm, mm

Lift me up
Hold me down
Keep me close
Safe and sound

Burning in a hopeless dream
Hold me when you go to sleep
Keep me in the warmth of your love when you depart
Keep me safe, safe and sound

Lift me up
Hold me down
Keep me close
Safe and sound

Drowning in an endless sea
Take some time and stay with me
Keep me in the strength of your arms
Keep me safe, safe and sound

Lift (lift) me up
Hold me down
Keep me safe
Safe and sound

Burning in a hopeless dream
Hold me when you go to sleep
Keep me safe
We need light, we need love

in your arms
(Hold) I need love, I need love (me down) I need love
(Keep) hold me (me close) hold me
(Safe) hold me, hold me (and sound) hold me, hold me
(Lift) hold me, hold me (me up) hold me, hold me
(Hold) hold me (me down) hold me
(Keep me safe)
We need light, we need love

I sway my hips to the music, singing along. Tears going down my cheek. I wish the triplets would stop bullying me. I love and care about them so damn much. My heart breaks everyday I see them. I slide down the wall of the shower, bawling out my eyes. The next song comes on "Hold on" by Chord Overstreet. I have my hands over my face, my knees up to my chest.

Loving and fighting, accusing, denying
I can't imagine a world with you gone
The joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of
I'd be so lost if you left me alone

You locked yourself in the bathroom
Lying on the floor when I break through
I pull you in to feel your heartbeat
Can you hear me screaming? Please don't leave me

Hold on, I still want you

Come back, I still need you
Let me take your hand, I'll make it right
I swear to love you all my life
Hold on, I still need you

Long endless highway, you're silent beside me
Driving a nightmare I can't escape from
Helplessly praying, the light isn't fading
Hiding the shock and the chill in my bones

They took you away on a table
I pace back and forth as you lay still
They pull you in to feel your heartbeat
Can you hear me screaming? Please don't leave me

Hold on, I still want you

Come back, I still need you
Let me take your hand, I'll make it right
I swear to love you all my life
Hold on, I still need you

I don't wanna let go
I know I'm not that strong
I just wanna hear you
Saying, "Baby, let's go home"
Let's go home
Yeah, I just wanna take you home

Hold on, I still want you

Come back, I still need you

Why am I letting them get me like this. Instead of crying like a damn baby I should be strong and push them back. I stand up, turn the shower off, get out of the shower, and turn the music off. I put my thong on. I look at myself in the mirror brushing my hair. I stare at the worthless person I look like in the mirror. I throw my brush at the mirror. It shattered into pieces. I pick up one piece and look at my wrist. Should I just end it? I fall to the floor. Not caring the glass cuts me in a few places on my legs. Next thing I know three large shadows are above me. I look up to see the triplets.