Every Glistening Night

Chapter Twenty-Three

I leave my cave in a daze the next morning. I've learned how to push past the fatigue, how to survive on just a few measly hours of rest. But I still long to stay in bed, both to catch up on sleep and to hide from the tribe. I can't stand that they aren't seeing me at my best right now. I feel like I'm not a functioning member of the tribe, unable to contribute as much as I should.

The sunlight pushes my eyes into a squint. People bustle along the mountain path in contrast to me and my slow descent. The fractured cliff is even more of a buzz. Weavers set up looms for the day, seamstresses prepare their needles, and various other crafts people set up their work stations. With our tribe's meeting looming, there's more push to finish quotas, even go above and beyond in hopes that we'll be able to trade for more goods.

I eat a quick first meal, stashing some of the fruit away from Mother. I've been making a habit of visiting her, just to stifle any ideas of sneaking out from entering her head again. Afterward, I grab a loom from the growing collection outside the supply cave. Though my fingers are likely to be sluggish, I hope to finish the rest of my fabric quota today.

Halfway across the clearing, Jeayma m'ke rushes up to me. "Oh, Celisae, would you mind collecting more flowers today?" she pants. "We really need to replenish our stocks. Perhaps if you try a different part of the forest today, you can find more flowers. Our other gatherers found lots where they went."

Her words pick at a closed, invisible wound, leading fresh guilt to ooze out. I dip my head, my eyes suddenly favoring the ground.

"Yes, Jeayma m'ke." A thought crosses my head. Jeayma m'ke nearly disappears, but I stop her with a sudden, "wait!" Jeayma m'ke startles, turning back to me. Heat burns in my cheeks. "Uh, could I take my second meal with me? Then I can focus on gathering the flowers and not worry about getting hungry."

The stress tightening Jeayma's face relaxes. "Good idea. In fact, I should suggest that to the other weavers gathering flowers. Thank you, Celisae."

My face grows hotter, but from the praise this time. I dip my head, and Jeayma disappears into the crowd so I don't have to reply. I return my loom, then push my way to the cooks. There's plenty of food to spare set out on the buffet. I wish I could take the leftovers to Mother, but I don't have a viable excuse to score two first meals.

"What do you need, dear?" an elderly cook asks me as I approach.

"I, uh, was just heading out to scavenge for flowers," I stutter. "Jeayma m'ke said I could pack my second meal."

"Of course. Hold on one minute." The stout woman ambles away, her gray hair swinging in a braid down her back. I stand awkwardly by the food tables, trying to stay out of the way of passing tribe members.

More than a minute passes. As I glance around, feeling more and more conspicuous, I catch the gaze of Ulane m'ke on me. She wears a tart expression, a barely contained glare. My eyes quickly divert to the ground. The tall, thin woman walks toward me from the other end of the food table anyway.

"What do you need?" Each word is pointed, purposeful.

"I'm just waiting for my second meal."

Ulane m'ke narrows her normally wide eyes further into brown half-moons. "And why do you want it early?"

"I-I'm scavenging for flowers... dyes. Flower dyes. Jeayma m'ke said I could bring food... in case I get hungry. Then I can collect more. Flowers." My shoulders curve inward, instinctively trying to curl in on themselves.

"Hmm." Ulane m'ke presses her lips together. She walks away without further comment, and my lungs cave inward. Something about her always makes me nervous. She never seemed to care for me, especially after Mother was exiled.