Ghost of the Past - A Xiao Backstory

Chapter 3: The Anguish of Loss

A/N There is now a large time skip from the last chapter. This now takes place when an ancient god gained control over Xiao. This is now in Yumi's PoV.

A/N SUICIDE MENTION TRIGGER

Yumi bowed before Morax, head dipped low. "My lord. I ask for permission to search for Alatus."

Morax had pitiful and sympathetic eyes that scanned over her. She kept herself still, trying to hide any sign of desperation from her form. The wind blew through her hair, rustling the nearby leaves in the long, lanky trees.

Morax turned his head toward the setting sun, eyes glimmering with a divine wisdom that only came from hundreds if not thousands of years of existence. "No. It is far too dangerous for you."

"My lord!" Yumi exclaimed, taking an alert stance. "I can handle it, I assure you!"

Morax's expression hardened. "You will not. That is an order."

Yumi gritted her teeth, her fists clenched tight. "Why, my lord?"

"If he seeks to kill you, would you be able to kill him instead?" he asked, and Yumi sensed it was and was not a rhetorical question. "Would you have the will to end his life?"

Yumi let in a sharp breath, biting her lip so hard that she tasted metal. Her fingernails dug into her palms, likely leaving cuts that would bleed later on. "To be honest... no, my lord."

"You searching for him is only a recipe for disaster. It would practically be suicide."

Tears pricked her eyes, but she furiously blinked them back. Her blood boiled, something that did not happen often with a cryo vision.

Alatus was her best friend. She'd even consider him her younger brother.

She was a loyal follower of Morax, but she was also a loyal friend.

Yumi glanced up to the sky. It had been five years since she had first met Alatus. Morax had been precise in his guess of an upcoming war.

All adepti had been ready to lose themselves or someone they cared about to this war. But she hadn't expected to lose someone herself.

"I'm sorry, my lord," she murmured softly, her limbs feeling numb. Her skin prickled with fear and shame. She closed her eyes tightly, letting one tear fall to the ground as she willed herself to teleport to a cliff near the chasm, the place she and Alatus had spent the most time together with his other friends, Bosacius and Menogias.

It was the best place to see the sun set, and it was the best place to watch over Liyue. It let you catch the beautiful scenery, let you catch the wind in your hair and witness Liyue in all of its glory. The delicate warm-colored grass swayed in the breeze, and the fluffy clouds were just barely out of reach. You could just make out Dragonspine in the distance, its tall peak cutting into the sky.

Was it worth it to give up her life and devotion to Morax for her best friend?

Despite the conflict warring in her heart, she could choose her end of the scale without a second thought.

A smile touched her lips, serene and at peace. She would never be forgiven. She would never be accepted back into the ranks of the adepti.

Just like her mother.

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Yumi, only six years old, raced after her mother, dashing through the bushes at high speeds that even a full grown human man could not keep up with. She swiftly jumped over boulders and slid under tree branches. Leaves showered down in her face, getting tangled in her hair and clothes, but she ignored them as she reached her arm out, fingers outstretched.

"MOM!" she screamed, losing sight of her mother in the dense forest. "MOTHER!" Tears dripped down her cheeks like mini waterfalls as she tripped over a stone in the ground. She tumbled down a cliff onto a roughly carved dirt path, her limbs extremely bruised and scarred as she landed. Her left cheek was scratched severely. She struggled to her feet, nearly falling again, but determination kept her standing.

She desperately climbed up the stone cliff, the sharp jagged edges cutting through her skin clean. "MOM! DON'T LEAVE ME! PLEASE!"

Her eyes flashed as she recalled her mother's cold eyes. "I found information on your father. Don't leave Jueyun Karst." Her mom's gaze softened ever so slightly as she knelt to meet Yumi's eyes, placing her hand gently on Yumi's cheek. "If I don't come back, stay with Morax. He promised to protect you."

"Ma!" Yumi cried out as her mother exited their small house, slamming the door shut, the sound echoing in their wood hut. Yumi frantically budged open the door, stumbling to her feet as she saw the figure of her mother running into the distance. She sprinted as fast as her little legs could get her, ready to hug her mother as tight as possible so she couldn't leave again.

Yumi gasped as she returned to the present moment, nearly losing her grip on the rocks and falling down the cliff again.

With all of her strength, she inched up the cliff, grunting as she launched herself up the last handhold to the top. She rolled into the grass, her muscles nearly exhausted of energy.

"Mama," she whispered, hugging herself. There were multiple scratches all over her, and there was a sharp pain in both her chest area and near her left foot.

She screamed in agony as she stood up shaking, her left foot bent horribly inwards, unable to support her. Every breath she took was like breathing fire that burned her lungs. Yumi refused to give up.

"MAMA!" Yumi shrieked, running and shouting in pain every step she took. Her foot was getting more and more marred by the second, her nerves screeching in pain.

She searched for hours, bloodied and bruised and close to death and heart aching as her six-year-old mind started to lose hope.

Her vision blurred with tears as she saw a familiar shadowy figure. "Mom..." she said softly, falling to her knees and crawling closer to her mother.

Then the figure disappeared. Yumi howled, dragging herself to the spot where she was sure her mother had been. Her vision cleared abruptly to reveal the edge of another sharp cliff, and the drop from this one was easily triple the one she had fallen. Yumi peeked over the edge, screaming in rage and a raw pain from deep within her.

Her mother's mangled body, limbs snapped in all directions in a terrible mess at the bottom. "MAMA!" Yumi shouted, reaching her left arm forward in a useless attempt to grab the only person who cared for her.

When Yumi drew back her hand, a bright light blinded her. She fell onto her back, covering her eyes. When the light faded, in her hand was a glimmering cryo vision.

Yumi knelt, weeping for her mother far into the night. She vaguely recalled Morax and a search party finding her as he lifted her up gently, bringing her to one of the prime adepti's home as she was treated for her injuries.

"You have a strong will," Morax had told her that day as she laid on a soft bed, every piece of her body aching in pain. "Not many could have gone on as far as you did."

"Why did my mama leave?" Yumi whispered, her tears having all dried out. "How did she die?"

"She was tempted by an evil god, who led her to her eventual demise. You are very lucky to have withstood that temptation. When we found you, we had to drive out the god from swaying any of our minds."

Yumi hadn't let go of the cryo vision ever since she got it, and it was still clenched in her left hand. Her grip on it tightened. "I'm going to kill that god. I'M GOING TO KILL THEM FOR KILLING MY MAMA!" Her cry was out of anguish and raw emotion that even Morax turned away at.

Yumi dug her face into the pillow on her lap, shaking and sobbing. "I- I... I'm going to..."

And then sleep took her in its soft grasp.