A Heathers Incorrect Quotes Collection

mean girls but there is an actual psychopath

(A/N: crossover time :)! alt title would be heathers but heather mcnamara is semi-multiplied and one of them is a psychopath also lmao this might be out of character, but if you didn't get that already that's on you)

Duke: *slams down an absolute doorstopper of a tome* I checked this out weeks ago for a bit of light reading.
Veronica: This is light?!

Veronica: How would you like your coffee?
JD: As dark as my soul.
Veronica: Got it, one cup of milk coming right up!

Janis: Veronica ain't the problem this year.
Duke: When are you gonna get it? Veronica is ALWAYS the problem.

McNamara: What are you drinking?
Farrah: Vodka.
McNamara: Straight?
Farrah: No, gay. Why?

Riley: H-how do you ask someone out?
JD: Well, first-
Veronica: Don't ask him, he asked me out at a 7/11.
Riley: ...And you said yes?

Gretchen: Heather won't wake up, what do I do?
Damian: Did you try kicking her?
Gretchen: Yes.
Damian: I'm out of ideas.

Damian: Are you drinking enough water?
Farrah: Sometimes my tears get in my mouth.

Ram: *angrily presses JD against a wall* WHERE'S THE MONEY?!
JD: ...
JD: Are we about to kiss-

*Veronica sneezes*
JD: Veronica, are you sick? Here, let me wrap you in a blanket and hand-feed you some warm soup while singing you a lullaby!
*Chandler sneezes*
JD: Oh my god. Shut the fuck up.

Cairo: What if people had food names and food had people names?
McNamara: Hey, spaghetti, we're having Cairo for dinner.
Eva: What is wrong with you people?
Karen: Shut up, chocolate.

Regina: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one.
Damian: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

Riley: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong?
Annleigh: Strong.
Cairo: Weak.
Kate: An idiot, is what you are.

Regina: It's called cauliflower, not ghost broccoli.
Kurt, eyes wide: I know what I saw.

McNamara, looking at her reflection: Now, that's rubbish. Who's that supposed to be?
Kate: Well, that's you.
McNamara: Me?! Is that what I look like?
Kate: You don't know?
McNamara: Busy day.

Mattie: I wish I was a cat, but not in a furry kinda way, more like a "I can sleep all day and hit people with no consequences" kinda way.

*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*
Riley I will not let you down.
Gretchen: Sounds fun.
Kurt: K.
Kate: No, I'm fucking not.
JD: Do I have to be?
Chess: Please god, I am so tired.