𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐎𝐟 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 || 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐜𝐤/𝐍𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧

12

In the end Donghyuck would open his eyes and the illusion would dissipate, leaving only the ghost of Mark's fingers that would brush his every now and then, a reminder that he was there, that they were okay. It was always strange to him how Mark always knew what he feared even if he never said it, and always knew the right thing to do to make those fears disappear. He longed for that kind of comfort right now.

Loneliness makes him desperate for his friends, looking over the ledge to the ground below. He knows that it would be so easy to just close his eyes and push off, giving in to it all. Each time the thought crosses his mind his heart starts to pound against his chest, hands curling into fists. All he has to do is take one step, one easy step and it would all be over.

Nonetheless, he always leaves the roof alone.

~Time Skip~

Donghyuck walks down the dead silent alley, running his fingers along the rough brick wall. He stays as quiet as possible, knowing that walkers tend to stay around areas like these more than any other place. Right by the alley was a store, its lightless sign announcing that it was a 7-Eleven. The glass was cracked and stained with something dark from the outside. Donghyuck looks away, not wanting to imagine but already knowing what happened there.

Inside most of the items had been taken, unsurprisingly. He already knew that most, if not all of the valuables would be gone before he came in. He doesn’t have much space to carry much anyways, which is a good thing. There really isn’t anything left in this store, only a few cans of fruit and vegetables and stale bread pushed under the shelf in the rush to get in and out.

He stops at the sight of a lone empty box pack of Oreo Peppero on the floor. Jaemin had loved that kind; he would always brighten when Chenle would search endlessly with him for it and surprise him with it when Jaemin was sulking from being unable to find it himself.

Donghyuck imagines what Jaemin would look like when Donghyuck brought it back home; he would smile that wide bunny smile of his and then start talking about how his brother would always bring it to him after work at a convenience store.

Jaemin was the last person to join in on their little group. Luckily for him his family joined the Busan reserve before it fell. They had lasted for a long time even after that, making their way to find somewhere safe when they were attacked in the middle of the night.

Jaemin was the only survivor, and wandered by himself for a month until their group found him. Mark almost made them leave him because he thought that he was a freshly-bitten with the gash that was on his leg, but Chenle had insisted that they at least check. More people had been around back then, and it was a similar situation to how Renjun had found Chenle.

Jaemin had been on the brink of death, dehydrated and half-starved. He was wary around them at first, a scared newly turned twenty year old still grieving over the loss of his family, but he had opened up to them little by little the longer they were together. Jisung and Chenle were the first to become attached to him, followed by Jeno.

His relationship with Jeno was still somewhat a mystery to Donghyuck—probably since Jeno was so private. They had connected on a level that Jeno didn’t even have with Mark, the person he had been with even before the attacks started. Whatever it was, Jeno brought Jaemin back to life, and in return Jaemin made Jeno smile again. Jeno looked at Jaemin like he was a man—after Jaemin convinced him to stop calling him ‘kid’, that is—an equal trying to survive in the apocalyptic world they lived in.

To this day Donghyuck can only ever see Jaemin as a kid though, shivering in fear and looking to him for help.

“Hyuck. I don’t want to die. I want us to live together for the rest of our lives.”

Jaemin had said that to him after their first scare, when he had gotten caught in the door and almost got caught if Mark hadn’t picked up the nearest object he could find and bashed the zombie’s head in.

Jaemin had clung to Mark when they finally got away, tears running down his cheeks uncontrollably. He hadn’t trusted them so completely before that moment and usually tried to hide his tears in fear of looking weak, but this time he couldn’t move away from holding Mark like he would disappear at any moment.

Donghyuck could remember thinking how small and vulnerable Jaemin had looked. Youth had still clung to his cheeks and quivered along with the tears in his wide, innocent eyes then. He was too young to see the things that he had, Donghyuck had thought with despair and anger, they all were.

“You won’t have to worry about that as long as we’re here.” Mark had said seriously, cracking a smile right after to lighten the mood.

“Yeah! You have us now. We’re the toughest thing out here. Nothing can touch us.” Jisung had chipped in, throwing his arm over Jaemin's shoulder.

“We can’t be stopped!” Chenle had yelled, pumping his fists in the air as Renjun whooped. “We’re Dreamies! Nothing can touch us!”

“Dreamies.” Donghyuck had echoed, and among the commotion he smiled. “We’re safer when we’re together.”

“Of course. Groups are always safer than being alone.” Jeno had scoffed, but he patted Jaemin's thigh. “Don’t worry, kid. We’ll make it through somehow.”

“Safe.” Jaemin had muttered skeptically, although he brightened significantly afterwards.

If Mark was their group’s strength, Jaemin was their fire. His youth but resilience to all that had happened to them after that moment made them believe that maybe, just maybe they could get through it all. If there was anyone that strongly believed that, it was Jaemin. Backed by the strength of those he loved, when things got tough he would always talk about how they would make it through together. He was a flame that lit their path. But his strong resolve shattered with the loss of the person he looked up to the most; Mark.

His light had dimmed then, growing more nonexistent with each death.

After Mark, Chenle, and Renjun died, Jaemin completely changed. When he would show up from his room he wouldn’t say much, hardly meeting anyone’s eyes. If he ever did his gaze was cold, lost and so, so desperate for things to go back to the way they were. The only person that could get any sort of reaction out of him was Jeno. But that was for a different reason in itself.

Donghyuck backs away from the box of Peppero, hand lifting to his head.

“Not now,” he gasps but he’s stumbling back, vision growing blurry.

There’s no way for him to stop the way his body loses strength, falling back against his will. He can’t move as the memory takes a hold of him.