𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐎𝐟 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 || 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐜𝐤/𝐍𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧

20

Screaming makes Donghyuck jump to his feet. He immediately called out for Jaemin before he realized that it was a female’s voice rather than a male’s. He’s reminded that they found a father and a daughter walking alongside the road last night. They were hungry and desperate and so upon Jisung's request they took them in, bringing them back to their home. He didn’t like the idea of it, but if Jisung wanted it he wouldn’t deny it.

Donghyuck jumped up to go see what’s wrong but before he could get anywhere he saw a hunched figure in the doorway.

“Hana? Are you alright?” he asked, furrowing his brows at her when she looked up at him.

But when Donghyuck looked closer he realized that it’s a walker that’s looking back at him. Before Donghyuck could even blink she was coming towards him, decaying arms reaching out for him. Donghyuck couldn’t grab the gun quick enough, having to protect himself from being bitten the best he could as she tackled him to the floor.

His eyes were wide as he fought to keep her teeth from sinking into his skin. They struggled like that for a long time, until Donghyuck could get his gun and shoot her through the head.

It was only after she lied limp on the floor that he realized that the man could have changed—or even worse.

Donghyuck ran to Jisung's room, desperate to see that he’s okay. He’s the only one that he has left, he’s all he has left and if he’s truly left alone he didn’t know what he’d do.

Jisung's there, back against the wall, covered in blood. But he’s alive, albeit hysteric. He’s covered in blood, trying to wash it off with a bottle of water and wipe it off onto his shirt.

“Hyung,” Jisung cried, spraying the water on himself and rubbing at his skin. Donghyuck hadn’t even known that Jisung saw him at the doorway but rushed over at the sound of his voice. “Donghyuck hyung.”

Donghyuck gathered Jisung in his arms, ignoring the blood to hold him close.

“He bit her, hyung. He was a walker. He tried to kill me.” Jisung's voice was so weak and broken Donghyuck had to strain to hear him. “He looked so much like my dad. I killed him. I killed him just like my dad, hyung. There was so much blood—”

“That wasn’t your dad,” Donghyuck said quickly, rubbing at Jisung's freezing cold skin to warm him up. “That thing wasn’t your dad. No matter how similar he looked.”

Donghyuck whispered more assurances to Jisung without stopping, trying to get the boy gently through one of his breakdowns. It hadn’t happened in so long, mostly since Mark forbade Jisung from killing any male adult walkers if he could help it after they realized his issue. It had been so strange to see Jisung freak out at the sight of the motionless walker, considering Jisung had about as much reserve with killing them as Mark.

When they first met Jisung he had been walking casually down the street with an axe, lopping off the heads of any walker that got too close. That alone should tell how easy it was for Jisung to fight back. Donghyuck had thought he was insane, especially when he smiled at them and waved like they were long lost friends. Instead, after a few weeks of knowing him, Donghyuck had decided to call it desensitized.

Jisung told them his story after he first broke down in front of them, shivering against Donghyuck's side as he spoke. Apparently they had been surrounded by tons of walkers when his father got turned without him knowing. In order to save them he shot every one of them. Killing his father had been an accident, and understandable mistake; after being changed the man must have lunged at him, too fast and agile for Jisung to hesitate. He’d only realized once he calmed down, finding out that he was all alone.

Donghyuck always shuddered when he thought about it.

Jisung never talked about how it affected him in detail, but just seeing the way he screamed and got a faraway look in his eyes was enough to understand the lasting trauma. The only way for him to avoid it is to not be able to see the walkers face when he kills it, which is harder than it seems.

“Hyung, I want to see everyone.” Jisung cried as they sat there, staring at his shaking blood-covered hands. “I can’t take this anymore.”

Donghyuck couldn’t do anything, only hold him close. Nothing he wanted to say will lift his spirits, he thought, because they wouldn’t even lift his. They already sounded empty on the tip of his tongue, and so he couldn’t force himself to voice them. They had to stick together; they had to be each other’s strength. That’s the only thing he believed in.

Donghyuck found a bucket and filled it with murky water to wash Jisung's skin. They needed to leave the room because the body was still lying there, but Jisung wouldn’t get any better if he left the blood to dry and stick even more to his skin. Afterwards he still continued to scratch at his skin though, muttering to himself and shaking his head. If he leaned close enough Donghyuck could hear Jisung reassuring himself that it wasn’t his father, that it wasn’t his fault, that he had no other choice.

Donghyuck was quick to gather their things, throwing them into the backseat of the car.

“How about we go see the ocean, Jisung? Hmm?” Donghyuck offered, wishing that excitement would flicker in those vacant eyes like old times. “You said how much you love it, right?”

Jisung just nodded, getting in.

~Time skip~

Donghyuck woke up alone.

He sat up in the car and looked around, panicking when Jisung was nowhere in sight. He got out of the car in seconds, calling Jisung's name in fear. Trying to calm himself down, he rationalized that Jisung just went to see the water since it was too late to when they arrived last night.

He checked everywhere, only to come up with nothing. It’s only when he returned back to his car that he caught sight of something, right below the tall metal structure that stretched out over the water. It was like puzzle pieces clicked in his mind at the sight, just as his legs started feeling weak. He hoped that he was wrong as he walked over slowly, but dread reminded him that up until know every hunch he’d had has been right.

It was Jisung's shoes, with a note folded and placed carefully inside. Donghyuck was already biting his bottom lip as he unfolded it, holding it up so he could read it.

I’m sorry hyung. I’m doing something reckless again; you’ll probably be mad at me and scold me again. I just can’t take it anymore. It’s so lonely, I’m so lonely.  I love you. I love everyone.

-Ji

Donghyuck collapsed against metal structure after he read he note, burying his head in his hands. It took a while for it to sink in, that he’s truly alone, but once it did he couldn’t stay standing anymore.

He failed. In the end he couldn’t protect anyone. It’s all over.

Donghyuck dug his fingers into the sand, trying to ground himself. But all he can think of is how Jisung must have stood on the exact  sand with his bare feet before he climbed up to the top of the metal structure and jumped off, drowning himself.

This couldn't be real.

This isn't real, he chanted in his mind, out loud, against the skin of his hands, the sand. It couldn't be. He’d just close his eyes and when he opened them again this will all just be a terrible, but not real, nightmare. Mark would laugh at him for worrying so much, Chenle would promise him that there’s nothing to worry about, Renjun would pat his back and do whatever possible to make him smile again, Jaemin would shake his head, smile and reassure him that everyone’s all here, Jeno would snort and tell him to stop being so dramatic, Jisung would huddle up close and tell him that they’ll always be together, why is he so dumb—

No matter how much Donghyuck tried to deny it, on the inside he knew.

He was all alone.