The ride home was peaceful, Hia was on the phone and I was looking everywhere. I just missed being around people and seeing the streets, I am also a bit nervous about seeing everyone again, I just don't want people to treat me differently but I don't want them to touch me either. It's strange but at the same time I want a hug I'm also afraid if they hug me I'll just panic. I need to deal with this, I just don't know how and I should ask for help but I'm too embarrassed to do so. I'll just take one step at a time and see how things go from there.
"We're here, are you ready?" Hia asks me
"I think I am." I say and he opens the door
"We're here for you, remember that." he says smiling before stepping out and having me step out after him
I look outside and I see everyone at the door smiling at me, even P'Vegas and his smile is kind of scary. I want to run to them, but I don't, I could see the image right in my head, they all hug me. I miss them so much, but I just walk behind P'Porche giving them a small smile.
"Chay!" Macau says happy coming near me but stopping at a comfortable distance "How are you?" I can see everyone waiting for the answer
"I'm okay." I say and he smiles at me
"Get out!" P'Tankhun says pushing Macau "My baby you're back! I missed you so much, we're going to watch a lot of new series and I'll never let those two come near you again." He says moving his arms a lot, I can see he wants to touch me but he doesn't. Hia must have talked to them...
"We can do that later P' I'm a bit tired, I think I'll just go to my room and rest a bit." I say and walk past them
I hate myself for doing this, they are all here, waiting for me but it hurts being with them and not being me anymore. I can feel their worried eyes on me but I continue to walk, I go to the elevator and then to my room. I walk in and it's everything like I left it, my guitar is on the corner of the bed, there's make up on my nightstand, even the smell is still the same. I walk into the closet, and I go to P'Wik's drawer, every picture it's still there, the shirt is there too and among all that there's the CD P'Kim gave me when all of this started. I still remember every single word of it. I grab it and look at it, I think about listening to it, but I just put it back instead. I grab a blanket and a pillow and go out of the room, I go to the garden and sit under a three. It looks like everything is bringing memories back to me because I'm under the same three I cried when P'Porche yelled at me in my first mafia reunion or whatever that was.
I can still hear his words in my head "You should be better" and look at me now, I'm a complete mess, I don't even know what to do anymore, everything just looks so blurry but at least I'm outside and not locked in a house or a room.
"Hello Chay!" P'Tay says coming from nowhere "I'm sorry I didn't want to scare you. Can I sit?" I nod and he sits down next to me "It's cold outside, what are you doing here?"
"I don't know, I just wanted to be somewhere I could actually breath."
"I can understand that, but we're all worried about you..."
"You don't need to be, I'll be okay I just need time."
"You sure you don't want to talk about it?"
"I'm not ready for that, I just need time to get used to this. I missed everyone, but it's too many people around me., it's just too much for me..."
"You changed... you're being honest..."
"I hate when people lie to me so I'm not going to lie to others..."
"What will you do about Kim and Matteo?"
"Nothing..." I say and take a deep breath "I don't want to be around them right now, this is not about them, it's about me. I need to put myself first." P'Tay smiles at me
YOU ARE READING
A Broken Heart (KimChay fanfic)
FanfictionPorchay was a sweet and innocent kid, but due to his brother he was pushed into a new world, a dark and deadly one. There he meets Kimhan, one of the most powerful Mafia sons. He makes Porchay fall in love with him and they have a fluffy little love...
