United in Break-Up

Chapter 11

"Ouch, my head hurts so bad!" moaned Vivianne as she rolled over in bed. Beth grinned at her, "Well, I wonder what that's about? As much alcohol as you drank in the pub and club yesterday, you can only have a proper hangover the day after!" All she got in response was a loud groan and watched as her teammate put the pillow over her face. Beth turned off the alarm clock that had just woken her up, and as her gaze fell on the pretty woman next to her in bed, she couldn't help but review the evening - all that had happened last evening still seemed like a dream she might have just woken up from. Vivianne, who was gently pressing her against a wall in a dark side street and who was kissing her - cautiously at first, but then with more and more passion. For Beth it felt wonderful to finally kiss Vivianne. She could feel Vivianne's slender figure still leaning against her body and the soft hair and cheeks of the Dutchwoman against her skin. Whenever she replayed this scenario in her head, she couldn't help but grin, as she had certainly done during the actual kiss.

She continued to wallow in thoughts and remembered last night: After their cell phones had rung three times, the two had to let go of each other. The other teammates had already moved on to the club and asked where they were. Slightly embarrassed, Vivianne and Beth looked at each other and grinned. "We should probably follow the others," Beth said and Vivianne simply nodded. As they walked side by side to the club, however, Beth somehow felt that this kiss had changed the otherwise relaxed mood between them. No one dared to really say anything and even the usually talkative Beth couldn't think of a topic to talk about - making small talk again after such a fantastic kiss seemed a bit strange to her. Even at the club, the two tended to mingle with the other teammates until Beth dragged Leah into the club's restroom and told her about the kiss. Leah was thrilled and happy that Vivianne and her friend had finally gotten closer, since Beth had been attracted to the Dutchwoman for quite some time. Beth had even hoped that there would be an opportunity that evening to perhaps repeat the kiss - but somehow Vivianne always seemed to be in different places than her. It made her wonder, but she hadn't thought much of it - her body was too full of the happy endorphins that the kiss had triggered in her. To celebrate this feeling and the end of the training camp, the mood was still fantastic and they all celebrated into the early hours of the morning with lots of alcohol. Beth can't really remember how she got into bed - but she was sure that nothing had happened with Vivianne and now she was just happy that they woke up next to each other this morning.

Beth got out of bed, reached into her already packed suitcase and picked out a pill for a headache. As she went into the bathroom, she filled a glass with water and went back over to Vivianne's bedside. "Here, so you'll feel better when we leave," said Beth in a soft voice. Vivianne still held the pillow over her face and grumbled an unintelligible thank you. Beth grinned at the Dutch girl, quite cute with her tousled hair and sleepy voice in the morning, as she disappeared into the bathroom to get ready for breakfast. When she came back out of the bathroom, Vivianne was also out of bed. Beth looked at her tired face and smiled sweetly at her, but Vivianne looked away. Somehow the atmosphere between them was strange, apparently she hadn't been making it up last night after all. It felt to her like Vivianne was uncomfortable around her after the kiss and Beth wanted to get to the bottom of it as soon as possible to calm her feelings - maybe she just needed to hear that Beth liked the kiss too and would also like to have more than a friendship with her? Then Beth could definitely give her that assurance! She was sure of her feelings for Vivianne and wanted Vivianne to finally understand that too. That's why she asked, "Has anyone ever told you that you're a really good kisser?" Vivianne smiled shyly, but didn't look at Beth during her answer. "Thank you, but so are you," the Dutchwoman murmured instead. Beth thought she noticed a slight flush on Vivianne's face and hesitated a bit before launching into her most important question, "Would you maybe want to kiss me again? Perhaps on a real date?" The question took all her courage, but Beth thought it would probably be the best if she asked her this directly.

A moment of eternity passed until Vivianne finally turned to Beth with a sigh for the first time today, "I don't know, Beth. We're both out of a relationship and learning from our past, so I guess we'd better not date anyone on the team again." Beth had expected many things, but she was not prepared for such a response. "Then why did you kiss me at all? Because it was just a bet?" Beth asked. She couldn't hide her disappointment, though to be honest she didn't try very hard. Somehow she couldn't believe it either, the kiss felt wonderful and also These flirty moments in the pub or when they held hands during the film were a sign for her that Vivianne would also have more than a purely friendship interest in her. "I don't think I want a relationship right now," Vivianne added into the silence, which brought Beth out of her thoughts.

"Are you serious? Wow, the way you kissed me yesterday, to be honest, I expected there to be a little more emotion involved!" Beth replied, noticeably disappointed. "It wasn't like that. I was just making good on a bet. After all, I only kissed you once and the other kisses were on your behalf," Vivianne replied. Her voice didn't sound angry, on the contrary, it sounded rather sad and became quieter and quieter during the sentence. Still, it was too much for Beth, she felt disappointed, sad and somehow also angry all at the same time as she grabbed her suitcase and walked out of the room. It was like a deja vu from the day they arrived and she wanted to change rooms. Even though Beth had heard from Vivianne that the kiss seemed to be just a bet, she still couldn't believe that such a kiss would feel like that then. It felt deep and real - not like a kiss for fun. But of course, she didn't know Vivianne that well yet, after all, they had only become closer as friends after their breakups. So now she was paying for the fact that she had obviously developed feelings for a woman who had no interest in a relationship with her, great.

Beth decided that she would skip breakfast today, she had lost her appetite after this morning anyway. The Arsenal team bus was already waiting at the entrance and the Englishwoman dropped exhausted onto a seat in the back of the bus. She noticed that the passing teammates were giving her some worried looks as they eyed her. Not surprisingly, the way Beth sat huddled in her seat, hood pulled down deep into her face, they could start to worry if they were used to the usually talkative and outgoing version of her. When Leah stopped and looked at her frowning, all Beth said was, "I had a rough night and I'm pretty hungover, please don't ask any more questions," and turned to the window, putting music in her ears. Leah thankfully understood and went to sit somewhere else, but Beth knew she couldn't put her friend off indefinitely. But Beth didn't care at that moment, in less than three hours she would finally be home. The home she had once shared with Danielle, and dreamed many a night that they would one day share with Vivianne. Sweet dreams are always followed by a hard awakening, Beth thought in frustration, before she fell asleep leaning against the window on the bus.