United in Break-Up

Chapter 12

It took Beth a while to recover from that morning at training camp with the Arsenal Ladies. Vivianne, for whom she had had feelings deeper than friendship for a while, had made it more or less clear that she didn't want anything serious from her. At least nothing serious in the form of a relationship - but for a kiss out of fun because she had lost a bet, she was all right then again, Beth thought with disdain. On the bus ride back to London from the north of England she had still been trying to hold back her sorrow, sleeping and fervently hoping that she wouldn't have to see Vivanne again that day. She was lucky in that sense as she only woke up shortly after arriving and had to be shaken awake by Leah to get off the bus when everyone else had already left. Leah seemed worried, but Beth tried to convince her that there was nothing wrong with her and she was just tired from the last week of training. However, as soon as she walked through the door of her flat, tears started to flow from her eyes and she barely managed to throw herself onto the sofa before her feelings of sadness completely overwhelmed her.

She had spent the evening completely crying and wallowing in her own self-pity, ignoring all messages and calls from Leah or her family, cursing herself for building up feelings for Vivianne. She should have known all along really, Vivianne flirted with other women like Alessia and found the idea especially funny that fans thought they were a couple after the photo of her on Beth's lap - but then there was the Vivianne who held her hand during a film in the movie room or who obviously flirted with her while playing pool and gave her furtive kisses in a back street afterwards that felt like it had true feelings in it. Sure, the signals were mixed from the beginning and Beth might have been more careful with her own feelings, but since they had spent so much time together, the feelings for the Dutchwoman just got stronger and stronger and her gut feeling, which had never let her down before, told her that similar feelings were to be expected from Vivianne. But that was not the case, Vivianne did not even want to get to know her on a romantic level or go on a date with her - and whether she liked that or not, Beth had to accept this decision now! It was with this vigour that she left the house again for the first time after the time when sadness had shut her off from everyone, to travel with the English national team to Manchester for the upcoming international matches - and when she arrived outside in the fresh air, it felt as if she could breathe more freely again for the first time in a while.

As Beth made her way to Leah and Jordan's house, who were taking her and a few other players from London to Manchester, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Since she hadn't really answered anyone's messages for days, and only today was she really participating in life again, she wanted to reply directly to people again as a kind of good resolution. Secretly, however, she knew that she was hoping for a message from Vivianne - or not, somehow she wasn't so sure how to continue with their relationship after their conversation at training camp. But after all, they were close friends and played on the same football team, so they would definitely meet again sometime and no matter how much it upset Beth, she had to remain professional in her dealings with all her teammates. Before she sank into brooding, Beth quickly pulled her phone out of her pocket and opened her new messages - but when she saw what name came up, she almost dropped her phone on the floor! 

It was the silhouette of a name that had given her stomach butterflies for the last few years of her life, the name of her girlfriend for most of her adult life - it was Danielle van de Donk who had written her a message and seemingly even added a picture. "Hey Beth, I'm finally back in the Netherlands and thought of you right away when the girls brought me these when they picked me up from the airport. How is life in London? I hope I can come to one of your games soon, I still watch them all on TV, crazy how you've improved your performance! Good luck for the internationals! Daan x" Underneath this message, Beth saw a picture of the grinning Dutch woman with the dark long hair and beautiful brown eyes holding a packet of stroopwaafles to the camera - those were a thin round waffle cookie made from two layers of sweet baked dough held together by caramel filling, a Dutch specialty that Beth had always enjoyed very much on visits to Danielle's homeland. Even though Beth was definitely surprised that Danielle reached out again out of the blue after easily three months of post-break-up radio silence, she was also kind of pleased to hear from her and that the other woman had thought of her in such a small but cute kind of way. Sure, Beth was still not completely at peace with Danielle since she had found a new girlfriend so quickly after their break-up, especially since Beth was now still in the mess with Vivianne - but so what? Life is like that sometimes and judging by her new resolution of replying to people texting her, she should at least reply once to her ex-girlfriend's kind message and started to type a message back to her with a slight smile in her face. Somehow she still cared about Danielle, that's for sure.

Meanwhile, Vivianne was in the car with her teammates Jill Roord and Danielle van de Donk on their way to Amsterdam. They had just picked up Danielle, who arrived on a flight from Lyon, at the airport and were now on their way to the meeting location of the Dutch national team. "Daan, hand me another stroopwafel, please," Vivianne called to her friend in the backseat with a laugh. "We did get these for you, but I haven't had one in England for a long time either." Danielle handed her the packet and glanced at her cell phone, which lit up at that moment, unable to refrain from laughing. "Who makes you laugh like that?" asked Jill questioningly from the driver's seat. "Hey, eyes on the road, Roord!" ordered Danielle whole showing her phone screen to the other two women. Vivianne, who had previously been grinning broadly at the two teammates' cackling, abruptly lost her good mood. There was a picture of Beth, her Arsenal teammate, grimacing sadly and giving a thumbs down. Vivianne quickly tore her eyes away from the screen and could only make out part of the message that went with the picture. "She writes that I should come around to London and bring some stroopwafels, she is kind of missing them in England too, just like you, Viv ," Danielle laughed as she let her gaze wander from Vivianne to Jill, who in turn let out an appreciative whistle.

"So, back to the ex then," Jill laughed, which completely confused Vivianne. "Sorry if I'm not up to date, but what about you and your girlfriend in Lyon?" asked Vivianne, almost completely out of control of how she should feel. Danielle just shook her head in reply, "Ellie and I broke up a few weeks ago, it just wasn't right between us." Jill let out an approving laugh, "And then after something like that you realise how well you fitted with your ex. Been there, done that." Vivianne didn't really get the rest of the conversation, the news that Danielle was single again and trying to get in touch with Beth had hit her somewhere in the heart. Vivianne was aware that she liked Beth very much - but she hadn't expected the idea of Daan and Beth to be so upsetting! Of course Beth was single and could do what she wanted - but why again with Daan? Was Beth really interested in Daan again? Beth had flirted with her the other day and challenged her to kiss her - sure, she had turned Beth down when she asked her out, but still, the kiss had felt like something with meaning, at least to her! With the rejection she only wanted to protect both of them from making the mistake again and starting something with a teammate after their bad experiences with their ex-girlfriends - only whether that was the right attitude, she now began to doubt more and more the more Daan told her and Jill about her great time with Beth and the jealous grumbling in Vivivanne's stomach grew wider and wider.