Lily: a Jolivia story

Eight: Maya

Set a little over one year after Matthew is born.

Home wasn't a place. It wasn't a soft bed, a couch, or even an object. It wasn't a resting place.

Home, for me, was Josh.

He was my safe haven, the only one who truly knew me inside and out.

He knew how to cheer me up when I was having a bad day, how to be there when I felt like the world was crumbling.

He loved me.

And that was enough.

~~~~

It's midnight on New Year's Eve.

Our friends are outside with my parents and Josh's mom. They're celebrating the new year.

Lily is sitting on the couch playing with her toys while Matthew is asleep in his bouncer on the floor.

Josh is spinning me around the kitchen. The only light is the refrigerator light. It's calming; the candles lit around the counters and the smell of fresh lilies scenting up the room makes us happy.

He smiles a happy smile, bringing me into him before spinning out again.

The faint voices of our friends laughing outside carries around the room, causing me to smile too.

For this moment, I have my husband all to myself.

"Have I told you lately that you're beautiful?" He whispers into my ear as we continue slow dancing around the dimly lit kitchen.

I smile up at him. I nod softly and he grins.

"Well, I'll say it again. You, my dear, are beautiful. And don't ever think you're not. I love you," he whispers.

I grin and kiss his cheek.

"I love you too," I whisper back.

He kisses me and says, "We should probably go visit with our family and friends. They'll be wondering where we are."

I sigh and break the kiss.

"Okay," I whine.

Josh starts blowing out the candles. I close the refrigerator door, and open the kitchen door.

Lily runs over to Josh and he picks her up, kissing her until she starts giggling.

I run my fingers over Matthew's cheeks, and he sighs in his sleep.

Matt and Sofia walk in from outside, and my parents and Josh's mom follows.

Sofia sits on the couch and sets Annie in her lap and bounces her.

Annie was born three months before Matthew, making her eleven months old and Matthew eight months old.

"Jimmy's doing a segment tonight. He's interviewing someone. We should watch it," Matt says as he sits on the couch next to Sofia.

My parents and Josh's mom sit on the floor next to the television.

I smile and flip on the tv, turning to The Tonight Show.

Sabrina is the surprise guest. She smiles at Jimmy.

"When was Maya born?" he asks her.

She smiles and looks over at her daughter being held by Corey Fogelmanis, Sabrina's best friend.

"Fourteen months ago, Jimmy. She's been such a blessing. She taught me that there's more to life than designer clothes and my music. She's taught me that it's okay to love someone."

Jimmy smiles. "And how is Joshua doing, knowing he has a daughter but wants nothing to do with her?"

I can feel Josh tensing up. Matt and Sofia glance at each other.

"Corey threatened to hurt Lily if I didn't sign away my rights to Maya. Sabrina won't let me visit; I've tried."

I grab his hand and squeeze it.

"I honestly don't know, Jimmy. Josh has his wife and kids now. He wouldn't care about Maya. The only father she needs is Corey," she says and the camera shows off the ring on her finger.

"We got eloped a few weeks after Maya was born. And, we have some very exciting news that we'll share when the time is right."

Jimmy laughs. "Another baby, perhaps?"

"Maybe," Sabrina chuckles.

"Alright, alright. I can't wait. Thank you so very much for joining me tonight. Feel free to give Maya one of our new Jimmy Fallon pillows. They're very soft."

The video ends and Josh stands up.

"When Sabrina walked out of the apartment, I didn't know she was pregnant."

"Would things have been different if you had known?" I ask and hold Lily to my chest.

By this time, everyone is staring at us, waiting for the ball to drop. We rarely fight, and when we do, it's really loud and we say things we don't mean.

Josh sighs, not really talking to anyone in particular. "I couldn't make any promises that they wouldn't have been. We were about to be married. She had moved into my apartment. A baby wasn't in the plans then, but if Olivia hadn't shown up, maybe Sabrina and I would be married and we'd be raising Maya together."

I can feel tears pricking my eyes.

We'd talk about this tomorrow, in private. I had a feeling it would start a fight.

"I'm going to bed. Come on, Matthew."

Josh carries Matthew up the stairs and shuts our bedroom door.

"We'd better head home, then. Come on," Dad takes Mom's hand and they walk out of our house.

"Yeah, it's late and way past Annie's bedtime. See you later, Liv," Sofia says and Matt follows her out with Annie on his hip.

~*~*~*

continued:

I'm lying on the couch with Lily in my lap.

I snuggle Lily to my chest and kiss her head.

"Did you have a good day, baby?" I ask her.

She looks at me sleepily and smiles.

"Yes, Mommy! Today was the bestest day ever!" She yells.

"Shh," I say and put a finger to my mouth.

She giggles and copies me before kissing my nose.

"Love you, Mommy," she says through a yawn.

"I love you too, Lily. I'll love you..." I say.

"Forever and always, Mommy!" She exclaims before rubbing her eyes.

I laugh and kiss her little head.

"Go to sleep, baby. Mommy isn't going anywhere," I say.

Lily puts her head on my chest.

"Sing my song, Mommy."

I smile and sing softly so I don't wake Josh and Matthew.

"When you're sad,
Honey, know I'm here
Butterflies say goodbye
Geese do too
But mama won't
Ever leave you,
My little baby boo"

Lily's fast asleep on my chest. I kiss her head as a tear falls down my cheek.