Bad Boy Good Heart

Chapter 13

Conner's POV
Alice doesn't respond to what I've said. I don't want to frighten her. But having this talk with her...she said I could have what I wanted from life. She said I could have love and joy and that I was a good person. But she doesn't know all of me.

She doesn't know the part that sells drugs. She doesn't know about my violent past...or anything. There's so much she doesn't know and she's making judgements, though good, without really knowing me.

I want to express feeling for her...but to open up just to have her potentially push me away...I don't want to get to close. There can only be one reaction when she finds out about all of my past and my drug dealing.

"Really?" Her voice cracks.

Ive made her nervous, I can tell.

"Yes." I need to change the subject now, before we start talking relationships. "Do you ever just ...think about the world?" She throws me for a loop. "What do you mean?"

I can feel her staring at me.

"I mean like. Nature and stuff...do you ever think about the parts that have yet to be touched by man. The parts that are still truly nature with no interference."

"Not really..."

"You say you like to meditate right?"

"Yea I love it."

"Okay. You need to go somewhere therapeutic. A place of pure serendipity. Clear your head."I prop myself up on one elbow to look at her. "Id like to take you somewhere like that some day. If you want?" I tell her.

Our eyes are locked, my breath is catching in my throat as I wait for her to answer. Every response seems to come entirely to slow, I could talk with her for hours. And the way she's staring up at me.

"Yea. I'd like that." A smirk plays on her lips. Her cheeks reddening. I need to remember to breathe.
"Great." I lay back and folds my hands over my stomach in effort to control my now raging hormones. My elbow touching hers, ever so slight, yet sending heat through my body. I swallow hard and clear my throat. It's entirely to hot in here "What do you want from life?" I ask taking a deep breath and turning to face her.

She shuffles closer. So close that were almost nose to nose. Her beautiful blonde hair spilling over her shoulders and face from the action. I move the strands so I can see her clearly. And all I see is her pearly whites in a bright smile, which is thawing my heart more for her. "I want toooo, travel. I want to see the world. Aannnddd I want to bring animals peace."

"You really have a thing for animals huh?"

"Yea..." I can feel the weight of sadness in her voice. I know it's because of Marlo. I hope to any god above that he comes back for her sake. "Do you want to go dance?" I try for changing the subject.

"Not down there."

I stand up and walk over to her side of the bed, reaching out my hand for her to take. She places her hand in mind and I pull her up and to my chest. Slightly started but I can see the amusement in her eyes and in her smile as we begin to sway. "I'm sorry about Milo." My voice is barely a whisper. Her arms wrap around my neck and she rests her head on my shoulder.

So here we are, slow dancing to rap music in a random persons room at an over packed party. However it doesn't matter what music I have. I'd rather be no where else than right here, right now, holding this girl closely.

I try to pull her closer. Feeling the thud of her heart beat against my lower rib cage. And I know she doesn't mind it because she buries her face further into the crook of my neck. All I know right now is that every thing is wonderful.