Just The Truth

Deep

TW:

Suicide attempt, drowning, smoke abuse, panic attack, vent (is that a tw?)

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Apocalypse - Cigarettes After Sex

It was a fun night, even though they had an accidental sleepover in George and Quackity's room, Dream figured that out when he woke up with a bad backache at five in the morning.

He stretched and rubbed a hand on his eyes as they slowly adapted to the darkness of the room.

A chilly breeze made him shiver.

He stood up and grabbed his hoodie from where he left it. Only then he noticed that the window was open and George was leaning with his arms on it, he was...smoking.

He brought the cigarette to his mouth in a smooth movement, he took a long inhale and slowly blew the smoke away.

Dream got closer and opened the other side of the window he leaned onto it with his back and his arms crossed.

"I didn't know you smoked," He said, glancing at George.

"The more you know" George murmured

"Want?" he offered the cigarette to him.

"Not really into it" He was more concentrated on studying his friend's face. He lingered on his eyes, beautiful dark brown reminded him of the woods and autumn. He had marked eye bags under his eyes, constantly, even if he slept for hours a day he always looked tired. Was he actually sleeping? Was it a good sleep? Did he wake up every hour like Dream used to do?

"Why are you awake?" George asked, getting into Dream's mind.

"What?"

"It's the third time you've woken up this night" George turned to look at him "I was...erm...sleeping near you and every time you moved to change position to sleep in you moved me so I woke up too. After the last time, I just decided to stay awake" He continued, answering Dream's confused look.

Dream looked at George's eye bags again, were his ones worse than his? He thought.

"I have trouble sleeping"

But George knew already, he started noticing weeks ago. Their rooms were basically attached, George could hear Dream walk around his room, close the door to go out, and dress up early in the morning...Dream's eyes were always on the verge of closing in a deep sleep during their Math class...

George didn't want to push him to talk, so he was waiting for him to articulate

"I just can't sleep sometimes, it's like my brain won't turn off. Even if I really do want to, I just can't sleep, and you know laying in my bed for hours isn't very fun"

"Is that all?"

Dream heart dropped, no it wasn't all and he knew. How did he know?

"No, it's not," he paused. "You asked me so don't judge me for what I'm about to say...I- As I said, I think but like too much, I overthink and then I cry. Because I'm scared about the future, and that I'm gonna lose you, all of you. I feel worthless. My grades are good but not that good. I feel very happy when I'm around you but every time I lay in bed at night I feel the weight of the world on my chest. I can't pay attention and I sometimes miss important parts of a conversation because I just get distracted. If it wasn't for you I would really feel like an alien, so then I feel like I'm not being grateful for you enough. I have serious problems with controlling my emotions. I can go from happy to sad or angry in a second, a single action could make me go nuts and I wish I could change but I can't. I tried so hard too and the funniest part is that I don't know why my brain is like this" he laughed, he didn't want to spill all of his problems to him. George didn't have to know. His laugh turned into a quiet cry. He wanted to make him feel happy, not fill him up with all his stupid thoughts, stupid feelings, and stupid words.